All of us, in some way, are narcissistic. In small doses, narcissism is not a terrible thing but in a greater quantity it can be a hindrance to you and hurt others around you. We all have a narcissist in our lives just as we all are narcissistic in some way or another. If you can pinpoint the type, and on what level, you can figure out if the narcissist in your life should be avoided as well as if you should be working on taming your own narcissism.
Narcissism has often been looked at as conceit and it is. This is your classic narcissists who feels them-selves as superior to others. This is similar to the compensatory narcissist who creates an illusion of superiority in order to disguise deep seated insecurities. These types often live in a fantasy world and expect prestige, admiration and praise. They are very sensitive to how others react to them.
Not all narcissists act boastfully; some maintain their narcissism by being weak.
The inverted narcissist is a co-dependant who caters to the narcissist needs in order to control them. These types depend on other people for their emotional gratification or daily functions. They are needy, demanding, and submissive. They fear abandonment, cling and display immature behaviors in their effort to maintain the "relationship" with their companion or mate upon whom they depend. No matter what abuse is inflicted upon them – they remain in the relationship. By eagerly becoming victims, codependents seek to control their abusers.
Narcissists are also either:
1. cerebral -- people who feed their narcissistic needs from their intelligence, academic, or professional achievements. Examples would be evangelists, CEOs, professors, physicians etc.
2. somatic -- people who feed their narcissistic needs from their physicality, exercise, physical and sexual prowess including their "conquests". Examples would be models, professional athletes, actors etc.
To break it down even further, we can take a look at the 9-point model presented by Bruce Stevens in his article: 'Narcissism: A Nine Headed Hydra? Exploring Types of Narcissism'. In it he describes:
1. The Craver has a lot of love to give but always with strings attached. This type has a great fear of abandonment and clings to people they can connect with, but they are never satisfied.
2.The Power Broker desires...well, power! They will do almost anything to gain power, and rarely consider any consequences of their actions. They can be bullies, arrogant, and cold. By any means necessary is their motto.
3. The Rager is someone on the edge, and when their narcissism is bruised, they will lash out. These types are often verbally and/or physically abusive. They are very controlling.
4. The Fantasy Maker is the type that has retreated into their own reality, because they are living in defense of the painful reality of their lives. They do not live in truth and therefore have difficulty forming "real" relationships with others.
5. The Special Lover is the type that believe love is the answer to all things. They believe that they have a special capacity to love and tend to idealize love and the people whom they love. Of course, they face deep disappointment when they realize that their love and/or the ones they love are not perfect.
6. The Body Shaper is highly focused on their physical image. Fashion. glamour, Youth. Beauty. They live very shallow and empty lives, and they tend to deny ageing.
7. The Trickster is an extremely charming and social type. These types can trick people into trusting them, but is very malicious and ruthless in these relationships. They feel a sense of entitlement and are without remorse.
8. The Martyr revels in their suffering. They are victims and love telling people about it. They totally identify with the pain they are dealing with in the present. They want care and support and will exploit others to get it. They tend to form relationships with others who have a need to be needed and then they are exploited. This is their way of controlling other people.
9. The Rescuer is virtuous. They always take the high road in relationships. They appear kind, considerate, and they try too hard. They find it easier to give than to receive. This could be because they were a parentified child in a dysfunctional family.
Image credit: http://browse.deviantart.com/?q=vain&order=9&offset=0#/dqm3rh
Article reference: http://www.timetoteach.co.uk/links/TypesofNarcissists.html
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