To bother or not to bother

Neither blogger nor Youtube are allowing me to share my video. If you would like to see it please visit the link. I actually really like the way the video turned out. The food looks delicious.

The Cora breakfast adventures continue. My friend Julie and I went out again to sample another item on the menu. I had to flip a coin for both of us to decide what we would devour. Still confused, I asked a young couple beside me if they had enjoyed their meal. The guy had ordered what I had intended and so I thought I'd get a direct review. They must have been surprised because the girl blushed and giggled with that, "why are you talking to us look."

 I personally don't find it odd to ask the next table for a quick yes or no answer to a question. I'm not one to fully interrupt their meal to make chit chat, but if I'm paying money for something and there happens to be someone beside me who has just bought the same item, I see no harm in asking, "would you recommend it?"

After they had left, an elderly woman sat in their place. She had bags with her and a newspaper. I presumed she was grabbing a bite to eat alone, while she caught her shopping breath. My friend continued chit chatting, but I noticed the woman glancing over at me occasionally. When she first arrived she looked over at my meal, and ordered the same thing. At first I assumed she was looking at me because I was filming Julie and I's hangout, which is not common to most people. But even after I put my camera away, she continued with the friendly glances. I smiled over and she smile back--a lovely smile. 

When I eat out alone, I often feel one of two ways: 1. Please don't bother me. 2. Please bother me. The general public cannot differentiate between the two demeanors, and so I'm usually bothered when I don't want to be or left alone when I'd like to be bothered. Possibly because I do eat out alone often I can tell the difference, and this woman wanted to be bothered. 

So I did.

My friend was discussing a root canal and I mentioned how it was one of my dreaded fears, looking over at the woman as I said it. She quickly joined the conversation and for the next half hour the three of us engaged in laughter and opinions. It was one of the best breakfasts I've had. My friend said she very much enjoyed talking to the woman and wished she could talk to strangers more often.

So often we ignore people when we are out. Possibly because we get the reaction the first couple gave me, which makes us feel bothersome. But even if you don't want to have a conversation, a friendly smile can make someone's day.

2 weeks to loose a friend?

A friend of mine once said something that I didn't believe at first: It only takes two weeks to loose a friend. 

He meant, if you don't make an effort to contact someone for a full two weeks, you're friendship has changed and chances are they aren't your friend anymore.

I disagreed because I thought of how there are some people that I don't see or talk to for over two weeks but they mean a lot to me.

But one day I noticed something...all the people I didn't talk to for more than two weeks were aquantainces not friends. I contact my friends at least once a week. I have a guy friend who lives very far (another country) but we text, everyday. If more than two days goes by without doing so it feels as if something is off with both of us.

I also noticed that what the guy meant was not that your friends vanish, but that the friendship is tested. If you think about it, 14 days is a long time to go without contacting someone you consider a  close friend. An aquataince may be excused, but not a friend. After 2 weeks it becomes harder to pick up the phone and contact the person. You wonder why they haven't made the effort; you wonder why you haven't. Often one party is avidly trying to stay in touch and the other side is just casually ignoring you (or maybe not so casually). 2 weeks turns into a month and as the days move on you realize, you aren't friends anymore and maybe you never were.

I don't like talking on the phone but I'll text my friends, email them, make a date to see them. If I don't, something is wrong.

Two weeks to loose a friend seems silly, but if you really think about it, unless you had some good reason, would you really want to go more than a few days without talking to someone you care about? Wouldn't you like to know how they are and update them on your own life?

I think in this day, with so many forms of communication, it seems odd that you wouldn't give a quick hello to someone...unless you didn't want to.