I believe in positive “feeling.”
The age old theory is, if you tell your mind something enough times it will start to believe it. But just because I tell myself “I am pretty” a hundred times doesn’t mean I “feel” pretty. A dozen people can tell me I’m pretty I still won’t feel it because I don’t believe it.
Self help people try to tell you to change your thinking, but that doesn’t necessarily change the feelings associated to the thoughts and it doesn’t change the behaviors. Thinking good thoughts doesn’t necessarily mean I’m going to gain good feelings or even attempt living a better life.
For some, it does; they can do the affirmations and mental exercises and change things but for me, I can’t get my mind to believe what it doesn’t feel. I have to first change my feelings and that triggers more positive thoughts and actions.
I can’t just feed my mind nice phrases; I need to feed my heart good feelings. Because if I feel sad, ugly, low ect, it’s going to be hard to get my mind to think otherwise all on its own. I have to give it something to work with.
I usually do this 3 ways
1. Gratitude and being being grateful. Being grateful is one of the fastest ways to get good feelings. If you’re reading this, you have access to the internet and that is something to be grateful for considering so many people don’t.
Gratitude opens you up to the things you already have. That means, despite what you may lack, there are things that you don’t have to worry about bringing into life. It’s one less thing for you to deal with.
Maybe you don’t like the way your legs look, but if you’re not in a wheelchair be grateful; if you are in a wheelchair be grateful you at least have a wheelchair to get around in.
Grateful people rarely get depressed, because they feel a sense of appreciation for what they do have and they realize they have something others wish they did. This can give a positive feeling where you’re not focussed on all the things you wish you had.
It doesn’t come just by thinking you’re glad you can walk or you have friends, it’s feeling blessed and not taking it for granted because you could lose that thing.
2. Hope. Hope can make you feel more positive because it can inspire you. You can draw out this hope from your own life and from others.
You may not feel good now, but it probably isn’t the first time you had to deal with something. You got through that so the idea becomes, I can get through this ordeal. Looking to others also does this. For example, lots of people around the world have battled addiction and won. Thus, it’s not an impossible feat and can you feel hopeful that you could also conquer it.
When you are hopeful, you are at least willing to accept the possibility that things can improve. This helps it become more believable when you plug positive thoughts into your brain. Because you’re not just saying “it will get better” you actually feel hopeful that it will be.
3. DO something positive. Simply sitting around trying to think positive isn’t really helpful. Doing something positive can help you feel more positive, which helps you think more positive. This is especially helpful when you don’t feel hopeful or particularly grateful.
Doing, gives you something to actually work with. You start to see that while you don’t feel ok, at least you are trying. It doesn’t have to be life changing or heroic. Just doing something small, like watching your favorite movie or taking your dog out for a walk can help stir up some positive feelings.
For me, working with “feelings” and not just thoughts is more helpful because it helps me enter a state of “being.” This helps me become a grateful person or become a hopeful, positive person.
So while I might not think I’m pretty, or ok, or have any positive thought, I at least don’t have any deeply set negative feelings because my “being” is in a state of positivity. When that happens, it’s easier to get the mind to believe the positive thoughts that I feed it.