Saturday, March 26, 2011

Seeking Approval

All of us want to be liked. We want to be admired and have the support of others, especially those close to us. So when we learn that someone might not share the same enthusiasm about something important to us, we can’t help but to take it personally and in some cases feel insulted. For example, you’ve finally decided what you want to do with your life but your family is less than thrilled with your decision, or perhaps you’ve experienced the harsh feeling that comes with introducing someone your friends and family dislike. 

I myself, have sought the approval of others and with that often comes the need to feel validated, to feel reassured that I’m still a person of valuable and worthy opinions and ideas. And it is this quest for validation after feeling dejected that often gets one into trouble. Is there a way to make people approve of you and your ideas? Perhaps not, but there are ways to soften the harsh blow of disapproval, and reduce the need to seek validation. 

 1. Don’t share until you’re ready. A fellow marketing friend of mine once told me “don’t share any business idea, until you have a strong foundation.” I’ve always believed this and hearing him say it helped me to confirm it. When you share an ill constructed idea, it gives people ample opportunity to find the holes in it until they’ve torn it apart, leaving you feeling hollow. It’s not that people want you to fail, but they do like pointing out that it’s a possibility. But my friend wasn’t just talking about the idea itself, but also my confidence in it. Whether it’s a new relationship, career choice, even a new outfit, it’s much easier to take the critique when you have built a strong confidence in it. You’ll feel less bruised when you’ve padded yourself with an armor of self esteem and confidence. Therefore, wait until your idea and your belief in it is solid before seeking approval.

2. Do it for the right reasons. We often make decisions for the same reason we seek approval on these decisions, vanity. Have you ever done something thinking, “Everybody will like this?”  Well, when it turns out that every body doesn’t like it it hurts a lot more than if you simply did it for yourself. If you’ve ever dated someone just because you thought the world would approve of him, took a job that looked great to societal standards, or even changed yourself in anyway just to get more attention you unfortunately heard, and answered, vanity’s call. The real trouble with this is if the motive is wrong then it’s harder to prove the decision is right. Any decision you make should have pure intentions. You should be doing it from your heart and without the intention of praise. If people like it great;. if not, who cares, you do!

3. It’s not you, it’s them. Everything we do in life is subjective. Everything. Therefore, if someone disapproves of something you’re doing understand that they are looking at it from the angle of their own lives. They aren’t simply thinking “is that the best thing for you to be doing,” but rather “would I do that.” If a person is showing strong opposition to a decision you’ve made, it often just means what you’re doing wouldn’t work for them or make them happy, so don’t let it eat you away. Forgive and be grateful for the fact that everyone has different definitions of happiness.

4. Try to be a little objective. When we get criticized, most of us immediately feel hurt and try to defend ourselves. But what if there is some truth to what they are saying. Perhaps it’s not the best time to be doing that particular thing, or maybe there’s something about that guy that your friends see that you don’t. Criticism can often save a lot of time and heartache, if we try and be objective with it. If someone disapproves of a decision you’ve made try looking at it from their perspective. What are they seeing that you’re not?

We can’t make everyone agree with us all the time, and we not might always get the support we need from those close to us, but if you are doing something with pure intentions God is on your side and is already blessing the decision.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011


Sometimes I purposefully stay in the shadows, just so I can appreciate the light. Don't we just want to turn ourselves to the bright rays of light, even the smallest ones, when we are deep in the darkness. Everything looks so beautiful in the light. Like the vase of flowers in this picture. Today I will turn towards the light, even if it is just speck.

Skirt: thrift
top: gift
belt: thrift

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

A spoon full of love

My photoshop editor likes to go to war with me. It disobeys and plays tricks even when I'm looking. So I have to apologize for the way the edit looks.
I took this pic of cinnamon hearts, one of my favorite treats, and thought of the quote after I saw the picture.

I was thinking, I wish there was a big bowl of love that I could go to when I felt down, misunderstood, or depleted. Then I realized there is! I can't always rely on my friends or family, though I do love them, and self doubt can make it hard to always like myself, but God, no matter what, loves me. He is that big fountain of love that endlessly pours out. All I have to do is go to him. It's not a long journey. No matter where I am, I can always spoon out a little love.
Believe that you are loved, that this world still has love at its center, and that you are worth every bit of love you receive.

Confessing and Rejecting Christ

If anyone declares publicly that he belongs to me, I will do the same for him before my father in heaven. But if anyone rejects me publicly, I will reject him before my Father in heaven.

Luke 12.8-9

Sunday, March 20, 2011

I want to be beautiful

The world is full of such beautiful things, snowy mountains, and cherry blossoms, sea coral and dirt roads and every creature that walks this world. You and I are both beautiful. But sometimes I don't feel I belong in this world of such bountiful beauty.
I don't mean in the vain sense. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so to strive to be beautiful in the physical sense is a waste-less cause. One may look at me with appeal and another can turn away without hesitation. I cannot please everyone. But I do want to please God. I want to be beautiful for him. I shudder to think he may look at me with disappointment. I don't know if he beholds me with the same esteem as we do a blossoming spring flower, but I want my friend Jesus to teach me. Teach me how to be beautiful by guiding me. Make my soul a wonder. Make my heart the fairest of them all.

Top: thirfted
Skirt: thirfted 
Stockings: thirfted
Shoes: Urban Outfitters
Bag: thirfted
Necklace: borrowed
Bangles: borrowed
Side note: the red patch in my pocket is actually just at tissue I folded up to look like it was part of the skirt.

Friday, March 18, 2011

letter A charm bracelet

I have a strange form of narcissism; I love my name. I love it to such an embarrassing point that even see the first letter of my name gets me giddy. So to no surprise of mine, when I saw this charm bracelet I felt a need to posses it. I haven't bought it, but there is that kick in me to do so each time I see it. The charm bracelet comes from liloshop It is an online shop hosted by etsy that sells very lovely items like the charm bracelet. The bracelet is very affordable so I think I may have to feed my ego and buy it.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

First one

I just noticed that this blog has its first follower. I always have a secret favoring for my first follower or subscriber on my blog, because they are the ones that give you that first burst of confidence to keep going. It's easy to be a part of something that is already beloved by many, but to take a chance (that's what I feel they are doing) on something not at all popular takes a little more thought, or at least that's how I feel.  To this special reader, I want to say thank you for following. I hope you will enjoy my posts. Feel free to leave comments and even suggest future post ideas.
God Bless

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Salt and Light

 "You are like salt for all mankind. But if salt loses its saltiness, there is no way to make it salty again. It has become worthless, so it is thrown out and people trample on it.
You are like light for the whole world. A city built on a hill cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and puts it under a bowl; instead he put it on the lamp stand, where it gives light for everyone in the house. In the same way your light must shine before people, so that they will see the thing you do and praise your Father in heaven."

Mark 9.50 : Luke 14.34-35

Sunday, March 13, 2011

BCBGirls Women's Tecer Zipper Pump

BCBGirls Women's Tecer Zipper Pump,Eggcream,7 M US BCBGirls Women's Tecer Zipper Pump,Eggcream

I absolutely want these shoes! BCBG makes some fabulous shoes and this one is tempting me to open my wallet. They also come in dark grey and black and are only $56.82 on amazon.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Handmade Heart Fine Silver Charm Necklace

Love and esteem are the first principles of friendship; it is always imperfect if either of these two are wanting.
-Eustace Budgell 

That's the quote that came to mine when I saw this lovely charm necklace. The heart is imperfect but it is also so perfect. This would be a nice gift to give to someone you love: a friend, lover, parent. As if to say "my heart is imperfect but it strives to love you perfectly." 

The necklace comes from Candice64 from etsy. Her shop offers numerous cute romantic-feeling items.  

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Love for Enemies

You have heard that it was said, 'Love your friends, hate your enemies.' But now I tell you love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may become the sons of your Father in heaven. For he makes his sun to shine on bad and good people alike, and gives rain to those who do good and to those who do evil. Why should God reward you if you love only the people who love you? Even the tax collector can do that! And if you speak only to your friends, have you done anything out of the ordinary? Even the pagans can do that! You must be perfect--just as your father in heaven is perfect!
(Luke 6.27-28, 2-36)

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Black and White Chiffon Ruffle Dress

Black & White Chiffon Ruffle Dress, Size: Medium, Color: Black & White

This dress caught my eye on Amazon. It's sophisticated , but the ruffle top also makes it fun and wearable to a party. I don't usually like very low necks but I think the ruffles would deter from the low neck line.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Pistachio Green Ovals Stretchy Interchangeable Watch Band

I'll be green with envy towards the owner of this watch. This watch comes from BlackBrookShop
 on etsy and it is offered in a variety of colors. I saw the green and thought it was unique and underused as far as watches go. It's a cute accessory and practical accessory, something to help keep you on time in a stylish manner. I know most of us rely on our cellphones, I'm guilty of that. My watches rarely hold the right time but that doesn't mean this can't make for a lovely little bracelet.
It sells for 7.00 on BlackBrookShop

Sunday, March 6, 2011

How to let go

Letting go of things is difficult for many people. Most of us know that we cannot enter into our new lives until we have let go of our old ones. Everyone always tells us the same story; you have to let go of the pain from a previous event in order to make life changes. Everything usually starts and ends with letting go in one way or another. We understand this, and consider it good advice, but we don’t understand how to do it. And we struggle to do it for the long term. How are you supposed to fully release negative thoughts and feelings and let in positive ones? Is it even possible?

It is! But in order to begin, and to fully let go you, have shift the way you look at yourself.

 Virtually everyone looks and themselves and recognizes themselves as a physical entity: a mind and a body. Those that are spiritual will include a spirit or soul to themselves, but still it is the physical they focus on. When they have to deal with an issue, they do it with body and their mind. Some place a lot of emphasis on their mind-- thinking before they act, and some rule with their body-- doing before thinking. Thus, when they have to let go they either think their way out of it, or act their way out of it. And because they are physically doing something they feel proud and successful. But all things physical have limits.

The body can only do so much. But if you rule with your spirit or soul the way you look at the world changes and it suddenly becomes easier to let go. To do this you must think of yourself as a soul with a body, not just a body.  Your soul comes from, and is connected to, a high source of energy, it never tires, and this energy is love so it cannot produce negativity. So think of your soul as you read on with the steps.

In order to fully let go:

1. You have to replace it with something constructive. When you get rid of anything, you immediately need something else to replace it. You can’t break a habit, addiction or even pattern of thinking without replacing it with a new habit, addiction or pattern of thinking.

Because you are purely a soul, you want to replace those bad habits and thoughts with something constantly positive. So read positive and inspiring works and pray. Learn to pray not just to for the ability to let go, but also thank God for allowing you to recognize that you need to let go. When you pray, you connect further with that source of love, this helps to replace all that is negative with something very positive. Praying is free,  can be done anywhere, and it is uncomplicated. If you are nervous and are not sure what to say simply say ‘I do exist and I need you in my life, so please continue to bless me’

2. Be patient. Everyone wants their problems to go away quickly, but waiting, and learning to wait is something that is part of letting go.

3. Help someone else. Don’t sit around twiddling your thumbs while you wait, help someone. When we help others we are not only reducing their problems we reduce our own. As a soul, it is in you to help. Take some time to listen to someone, do something for someone or just remind someone that they are beautiful and special. Do this daily.

4. Focus on the present and the person you want to be. One of the biggest reasons why people fail to let go isn’t because they don’t try, but they try as the person they were in the past. They use their past thoughts and emotions to guide them. To avoid this, focus on yourself in the here and now and how you want to be today. If you were teased and you want to let go of that past then stop making decisions as that teased person.  You, as a soul, can only live in today and souls consider themselves already successful in everything they do, so your soul will already feel as if it is healed and will take you through your day as a healed person not a teased one.

5. Forget pride. Everyone who battles with letting go is battling with a form of pride. Pride is defined in many ways, and the pride that keeps you from letting go is the pride that does not want you to imagine that there is something bigger and greater than itself. It is also the pride that keeps you from admitting that you are making mistakes. By mistakes I mean spiritual ones, not necessarily physical ones. If you can’t let go of a past breakup there is a prideful reason for it. Your pride does not want you admit that chose to bring someone negative into your life or it may not want to accept that it is over. Your pride also refuses to let you grasp on the loving energy of God. It could be anger or disbelief, but pride is putting something in the way of you and him and keeping you in the negative. Pride is the most difficult thing to release. It is pride that keeps the negative thoughts and feelings. Pride likes to see you fail, because then you will stop thinking of your soul and return to a state of physical, seeking only physical things to help you.   

To fully let go, stop thinking of yourself as just a body or mind, but as a soul and focus on your soul. Replace past thoughts and habits with new loving ones. Be patient with yourself and others, and while waiting, help someone. Keep focused on the present and don’t let pride keep you from making changes and progress.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Gene Simmons views on money

I was watching an interview with Gene Simmons, the front man for Kiss, and he was asked if there was anything money couldn’t buy. He said no, even going as far as to say money can buy God. Well I’m not going to go on about how God is free and that even the very impoverished can afford him. What got me about what he said is how limited his thinking was. Maybe it because I’m anthropology major, I can point out just how wrong Simmons is. He, like so many, forgets that money is a relatively new thing considering how old the world is, and still today there are cultures that don’t use monetary funds for their day to day survival. The world hasn’t always been the way we see it, and it won’t always be.

But Gene can’t imagine a world without money for two reasons. Most people cannot see past what they already know and experience. They rely on what the taste, feel, hear, and touch in the moment to make judgments and choices for their tomorrow. For Gene, money is something very real to him, he knows it well and so to imagine a world without it is nearly impossible for him. Another reason is, it is his motivator.

We move through life and make decisions based on our own personal motivators. If you want admiration, you will look for opportunities that will grant you that. If you seek pity, you will make decisions based on that motive. Gene likes, wants, and feels he needs money. He’s seen what money can give him. He knows without it he wouldn’t have the life he has now, and thus all his major decisions go back to the central influence of money.

He is right in some respect, the culture he lives in and has witnessed surrounds itself with the notion of money. Survival is highly based on having more than enough, because he cannot buy food, clothes, medication or a home to live in without money. And he knows in order to get the best of those things he needs a fair bit of it. But he doesn’t see that he is limiting himself to one form of survival and he cannot see the world for more than merely himself. He thinks, my life is good because I have a lot of money, so everyone needs a lot of it in order to have a good life. He cannot even fathom that life and the world is more than he knows it.

Gene has a case of pride. When you don’t look outside yourself and your own life experiences to judge the world that is exactly what you have. And pride is forever limiting because it keeps us from experiencing the world fully. It keeps us from entertaining different thoughts. And it keeps us from connecting to our soul and the souls around us.

For mister Simmons, here are some things money can’t buy

1.  You can buy a great councilor, but you can’t buy the fear and anxiety away

2. You can buy a good education. but you can’t buy the ambition to get good grades

3. You can buy a good bed, but you can’t buy a good night’s sleep

4. You can buy medication, but you can’t buy pain away.

5. You can buy an antiaging product, but you can’t buy youth.

6. You can buy good grades, but you can’t buy wisdom

7. No one can buy their way into heaven, because no one truly knows what it takes to get there.

8.  You can buy someone’s attention, but you can’t buy their love.

9. You can buy beauty, but you can’t buy self esteem

10. You can buy better health, but you can’t buy immortality.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

The postman knocked twice

The post man knocked while I was making this video, but luckily the camera was off for a minuet. It's like I knew. I dislike when I have to restart a video from the beginning, because I never know what to say. But the knocking ringing postman got me thinking about how God likes to deliver messages to us, and how he also will knock more than once to make sure we hear him.

The first is always gentle, sometimes just a tap and only those that are truly listening will hear. It's a blessing if you can hear it the first time. But if you don't he will knock a second time, louder, stronger and with more urgency. And if you still don't hear, or don't want to answer, he will again try to deliver it. The force is now greater, it's less of a knock and more of banging beating sound. You can't ignore it.
Keep your ears and heart open, so you may hear him the first time and let him send you his messages and gifts to you.