Why do bad things happen to good people

A friend of mine made a post asking the following two questions below. I wanted to share my response to him.

Why do bad things happen to good people?
Why don’t bad people get punished?

Well, to quickly answer the second question…bad people do get punished.

Most “bad” people have internal struggles. Even if on the outside they look fine they are obviously dealing with something that is negative enough for them to inflict pain or conflict on others. They don’t have inner peace. To go through life without the peaceful content feeling is a struggle, even if you have everything else. So most “bad” people are suffering daily internally.

To address the first question…

Sometimes what seems like a bad thing, can be a blessing. When I had to leave school because of my illness I was distraught. I had a student loan to pay, no job, my health was miserable, and I thought I’d never be able to attend school again. But the situation forced me to look at other options and my life is actually better now, even with my illness, than it was before. I’ve created a life for myself that suites me better. I’m going to school, I’m working and I paid off my loan.

2. Sometimes it’s your fault. Yes I know it sucks to admit it, but sometimes we make mistakes that we could have avoided if we just listened to ourselves. There is a voice that tells you “don’t date that guy/girl” “don’t listen to those people” “don’t go down that road”, but we don’t always listen and terrible things can happen as a result. This is why the past can be your friend. If you live to tell about it, learn from it.

3. Most of what we call “bad things” is just life. Life flows in waves. Sometimes you get nice soft waves. Sometimes it feels like the sea itself is tossing itself on you. You just have to try and deal with it the best you can. Use your resources, talk to people, and remeber that nothing last forever; the problem will pass.

4. We are a bit too tolerant. Good people have a tendancy to put up with crap that they don’t need to. If more people spoke up, half the problems in this world wouldn’t exist. But people stay quiet when they should be shouting at the top of their lungs. If something is bothering you, say something Fix it while you have more control over it, instead hoping it goes way. It’s ok to put up a fight for your own happiness. It’s your life, after all.

Hey there, July

Hey there July, have you come to break my heart or kick start it? Are you looking for a victim or a friend? I could be smiling, tearing up from summer time laughter or shedding streaks of summer time blues. July, you bring so much excitment. The thrill of your arrival is too much for one girl sometimes.

 Ah, but you never make any promises, not real ones anyway. Sunny days, heated nights, sun soaked memories and stormy thunderous serenades. July can make you do anything and be anything. It can leave you blissed from summer sweetness as you run through the streets chasing your summer star or leave you wading through it's pool of summer sadness.

Hey there July, will you make me smile or make me cry?

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How to achieve a balanced life

One of the most difficult things to do in life is to keep your life in balance. If you meet someone who looks as if all is going well for them, they are usually working very hard at it.

 General life obligations, and personal expectations make the art of living a very challenging one to master. Something in your life may be going great while another is part of your life is falling apart. And lets not forget the moments when it seem as if everything is crumbling around you.

Some people never feel in balance with their life. They never feel life hands them what they want, when they want it or they feel exhausted at constantly having to keep things in balance.

But if you look at people whose lives do look joyous, peaceful and balanced you may be see a some common elements.

1. They make themselves a priority. If you're always committing to others, never making time for yourself and the things that make you happy; if it's always your friends, kids, boss, spouse, parents that come first then it's no wonder you're feeling fed up with life.

You're not giving enough of your time and energy to yourself. You are not doing anything wrong if you make yourself a priority. In fact, it is essential. If you're not at your best then, no matter how much you're giving, nobody in your life is getting your best.

You need to take care of yourself first: body, mind and soul, before you start dishing parts of yourself to others.

2. They ask for help. Nobody can do it on their own. Each of us has only one body and we are only capable of so much. People who have their life in balance seek the help of others.

It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help. Instead, it gives you a chance to  a) sort out other things in your life
b) get things done faster.
Ask for advice, help, resources when you can to make your life easier.

3. They don't expect everything to be perfect. Most of us are trying way too hard to obtain an unachievable state of perfection in our lives. This is never going happen. Life moves in waves-- high tides and low.

 It's not realistic to expect that every part of your life is going run smoothly at the same time. We are human; we get sick; we get into disputes; we're thrown curve balls. It's more a matter of how to positively deal with things rather than expecting every moment of your life to be perfect.

4. They celebrate the good, deal with the bad. Some people don't take time to rejoice over the good things that happen in their lives. As I said above, they're too busy trying to make everything perfect to see what is actually going right in their lives.

Others fail to acknowledge the parts of their lives that need tweaking. They either don't want to admit they are making a mistake, or don't know how to address certain issues in their lives. But people in balance know that they have to deal with the things keeping them out of balance and take the time to appreciate all the ways life is being good to them.

Having a balanced life is a day to day thing. It's not something you do once and forget about. It takes making yourself a priority, asking for help when needed, dealing with issues that may be holding you back and not expecting life to be perfect.