I believe in positive “feeling.”
The age old theory is, if you tell your mind something enough times it will start to believe it. But just because I tell myself “I am pretty” a hundred times doesn’t mean I “feel” pretty. A dozen people can tell me I’m pretty I still won’t feel it because I don’t believe it.
Self help people try to tell you to change your thinking, but that doesn’t necessarily change the feelings associated to the thoughts and it doesn’t change the behaviors. Thinking good thoughts doesn’t necessarily mean I’m going to gain good feelings or even attempt living a better life.
For some, it does; they can do the affirmations and mental exercises and change things but for me, I can’t get my mind to believe what it doesn’t feel. I have to first change my feelings and that triggers more positive thoughts and actions.
I can’t just feed my mind nice phrases; I need to feed my heart good feelings. Because if I feel sad, ugly, low ect, it’s going to be hard to get my mind to think otherwise all on its own. I have to give it something to work with.
I usually do this 3 ways
1. Gratitude and being being grateful. Being grateful is one of the fastest ways to get good feelings. If you’re reading this, you have access to the internet and that is something to be grateful for considering so many people don’t.
Gratitude opens you up to the things you already have. That means, despite what you may lack, there are things that you don’t have to worry about bringing into life. It’s one less thing for you to deal with.
Maybe you don’t like the way your legs look, but if you’re not in a wheelchair be grateful; if you are in a wheelchair be grateful you at least have a wheelchair to get around in.
Grateful people rarely get depressed, because they feel a sense of appreciation for what they do have and they realize they have something others wish they did. This can give a positive feeling where you’re not focussed on all the things you wish you had.
It doesn’t come just by thinking you’re glad you can walk or you have friends, it’s feeling blessed and not taking it for granted because you could lose that thing.
2. Hope. Hope can make you feel more positive because it can inspire you. You can draw out this hope from your own life and from others.
You may not feel good now, but it probably isn’t the first time you had to deal with something. You got through that so the idea becomes, I can get through this ordeal. Looking to others also does this. For example, lots of people around the world have battled addiction and won. Thus, it’s not an impossible feat and can you feel hopeful that you could also conquer it.
When you are hopeful, you are at least willing to accept the possibility that things can improve. This helps it become more believable when you plug positive thoughts into your brain. Because you’re not just saying “it will get better” you actually feel hopeful that it will be.
3. DO something positive. Simply sitting around trying to think positive isn’t really helpful. Doing something positive can help you feel more positive, which helps you think more positive. This is especially helpful when you don’t feel hopeful or particularly grateful.
Doing, gives you something to actually work with. You start to see that while you don’t feel ok, at least you are trying. It doesn’t have to be life changing or heroic. Just doing something small, like watching your favorite movie or taking your dog out for a walk can help stir up some positive feelings.
For me, working with “feelings” and not just thoughts is more helpful because it helps me enter a state of “being.” This helps me become a grateful person or become a hopeful, positive person.
So while I might not think I’m pretty, or ok, or have any positive thought, I at least don’t have any deeply set negative feelings because my “being” is in a state of positivity. When that happens, it’s easier to get the mind to believe the positive thoughts that I feed it.
Hi my name is Adelaide and I like to review just about everything I buy, eat or do. This blog is simply a way for me to remember what I do and don't like but I hope you find it helpful too.
Showing posts with label blessed. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blessed. Show all posts
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Why do bad things happen to good people
A friend of mine made a post asking the following two questions below. I wanted to share my response to him.
Why do bad things happen to good people?
Why don’t bad people get punished?
Well, to quickly answer the second question…bad people do get punished.
Most “bad” people have internal struggles. Even if on the outside they look fine they are obviously dealing with something that is negative enough for them to inflict pain or conflict on others. They don’t have inner peace. To go through life without the peaceful content feeling is a struggle, even if you have everything else. So most “bad” people are suffering daily internally.
To address the first question…
Sometimes what seems like a bad thing, can be a blessing. When I had to leave school because of my illness I was distraught. I had a student loan to pay, no job, my health was miserable, and I thought I’d never be able to attend school again. But the situation forced me to look at other options and my life is actually better now, even with my illness, than it was before. I’ve created a life for myself that suites me better. I’m going to school, I’m working and I paid off my loan.
2. Sometimes it’s your fault. Yes I know it sucks to admit it, but sometimes we make mistakes that we could have avoided if we just listened to ourselves. There is a voice that tells you “don’t date that guy/girl” “don’t listen to those people” “don’t go down that road”, but we don’t always listen and terrible things can happen as a result. This is why the past can be your friend. If you live to tell about it, learn from it.
3. Most of what we call “bad things” is just life. Life flows in waves. Sometimes you get nice soft waves. Sometimes it feels like the sea itself is tossing itself on you. You just have to try and deal with it the best you can. Use your resources, talk to people, and remeber that nothing last forever; the problem will pass.
4. We are a bit too tolerant. Good people have a tendancy to put up with crap that they don’t need to. If more people spoke up, half the problems in this world wouldn’t exist. But people stay quiet when they should be shouting at the top of their lungs. If something is bothering you, say something Fix it while you have more control over it, instead hoping it goes way. It’s ok to put up a fight for your own happiness. It’s your life, after all.
Why do bad things happen to good people?
Why don’t bad people get punished?
Well, to quickly answer the second question…bad people do get punished.
Most “bad” people have internal struggles. Even if on the outside they look fine they are obviously dealing with something that is negative enough for them to inflict pain or conflict on others. They don’t have inner peace. To go through life without the peaceful content feeling is a struggle, even if you have everything else. So most “bad” people are suffering daily internally.
To address the first question…
Sometimes what seems like a bad thing, can be a blessing. When I had to leave school because of my illness I was distraught. I had a student loan to pay, no job, my health was miserable, and I thought I’d never be able to attend school again. But the situation forced me to look at other options and my life is actually better now, even with my illness, than it was before. I’ve created a life for myself that suites me better. I’m going to school, I’m working and I paid off my loan.
2. Sometimes it’s your fault. Yes I know it sucks to admit it, but sometimes we make mistakes that we could have avoided if we just listened to ourselves. There is a voice that tells you “don’t date that guy/girl” “don’t listen to those people” “don’t go down that road”, but we don’t always listen and terrible things can happen as a result. This is why the past can be your friend. If you live to tell about it, learn from it.
3. Most of what we call “bad things” is just life. Life flows in waves. Sometimes you get nice soft waves. Sometimes it feels like the sea itself is tossing itself on you. You just have to try and deal with it the best you can. Use your resources, talk to people, and remeber that nothing last forever; the problem will pass.
4. We are a bit too tolerant. Good people have a tendancy to put up with crap that they don’t need to. If more people spoke up, half the problems in this world wouldn’t exist. But people stay quiet when they should be shouting at the top of their lungs. If something is bothering you, say something Fix it while you have more control over it, instead hoping it goes way. It’s ok to put up a fight for your own happiness. It’s your life, after all.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Thank you!
XX
Friday, April 13, 2012
Are some people born with all the luck?
There are some people who appear to be extremely lucky. They are born into a financially stable family; they have two loving and supportive parents; they live in a location where they have access to ample resources; and the have no major health issues. If life is a race then these types of people have a head start as opposed to someone who struggles financially; was born or raised by people who don't treat them well, have little access to resources and opportunities, and are battling a difficult or threatening disease. These people seem as if they are doomed to come in last because they have a very poor start.
However, if you have ever watched a race, you know that those in the lead don't always finish first. Life is a challenge for all. Whether you are rich and famous or poor and forgotten, it rains in all our lives.
What some people have is an early luck, where they have a number of things in their favor. It seems as if because they have such a great head start the course of their life should run easy, while others must work twice as hard to catch up. But that does not mean those with a head start have it easy, and it doesn't mean their luck won't run out.
Those who endured difficult and traumatic experiences early in their life, often have a resilience and endurance that makes them continue to run a race they know they might loose. This push and willingness to succeed can take them from the back of the race to the front line.
This is not to say that those with a lucky head start don't try, but that desperate instinctive need to survive may be tamed down.
In addition, life has a way leveling the playing field. The person who was born wealthy can make poor financial decisions when they get older; the one that has always been loved can fall in love with someone who hurts them deeply; the healthy one may become tragically injured. It is not uncommon for someone to trip and fall, pulling them back or completely out of the race.
There is another thing which is pivotal to success...emotional stability. Despite having it all some, people can't get happy. They go through bouts of depression. They may feel anxious all the time. Regardless of their lucky head start they fall behind emotionally, always feeling stuck and never truly experiencing joy.
On the other hand, there are some who have very little but have great emotional stability. They are mentally and emotionally at peace.
The unfortunate part of life is no one is born knowing where they will stand at the start mark. If we could, I'm sure we would all want to be the person who had everything working for them. But we are all born with the ability to make something out of our lives. And it is not really a matter of who finishes first in the race of life, but who finishes content. If in each stage of your life (good or bad) you are grateful and feel a sense of contentment then you will always run a good race and will always have a special kind of luck.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Moments of my day Feb 22
You wake up, thinking the day will be like any other and suddenly something happens to change it...like winning a contest. Mid morning, I recieved a message notifying me that I was the winner of a contest held by a youtube member. I'm never lucky in contests, so I was more than excited when I found out I won.
It's amazing how winning something, having something good happen to you, makes the whole day sit on an optimistic and postive note. I felt lucky throughout the day.
Simply being to able wakup this morning with little pain, a roof over my head and a family makes me lucky or rather blessed, but we so often take these things for granted. I was more excited about winning something. Because for that moment it was as if fate chose me instead of anyone else. But fate chose me all day long, all month long.
I'm still here, while other are not. I have friends and a family, while others don't, and I am safe, while many others are praying to be rescued.
We forget the mundane are the significant things in our life; the things that we assume are natural and everyday, like checking text messages (which is not at all mundane since in order to do so you must have a cell phone and that is a luxury in itself). Even if I had not won the contest I still would be considered a very lucky girl.
{Sorry I do not have a pic of my day but I thank you for reading xox}
It's amazing how winning something, having something good happen to you, makes the whole day sit on an optimistic and postive note. I felt lucky throughout the day.
Simply being to able wakup this morning with little pain, a roof over my head and a family makes me lucky or rather blessed, but we so often take these things for granted. I was more excited about winning something. Because for that moment it was as if fate chose me instead of anyone else. But fate chose me all day long, all month long.
I'm still here, while other are not. I have friends and a family, while others don't, and I am safe, while many others are praying to be rescued.
We forget the mundane are the significant things in our life; the things that we assume are natural and everyday, like checking text messages (which is not at all mundane since in order to do so you must have a cell phone and that is a luxury in itself). Even if I had not won the contest I still would be considered a very lucky girl.
{Sorry I do not have a pic of my day but I thank you for reading xox}
Friday, September 2, 2011
North, East, South and West
If my heart were a compass it would guide me through an adventure that brought to me to all four corners of my city. My heart did just that not that long ago. It offered me smiles in all corners of my city and with each adventure a new delight for my heart.
In the North East, I bought some items that make my little heart dance. Forced to use gift cards on whim, I purchased some both inexpensive and lush items. From Urban Behavior I found some jeans and a skirt both for only $10. I love finding items that cost little but offer big smiles. Then it was off to LUSH, my favorite cosmetics store. This isn’t a shop, it’s an experience—one that stays with me long after the purchase. Some treats for the skin were bought and if it wasn’t for another engagement, I would have stayed there all day. My heart spun South, for a friendly day out with a friend.
We ate pizza and told stories. My friend Diksha and I always have an adventurous time, even in the most simplest of moments. She is someone that can make even the sun itself shin brighter. She is bubbly and full of excitement, which makes all things with her exciting. Kind and good, you can never be blue when you’re with her. No matter what part of the world she’s in, she always has a piece of my heart.
We sat in F.A.T.S and decided that the South was pleasant but the West was calling. A makeshift picnic on a hill with a spectacular view of her area put us in a relaxed mood. Too relaxed. To shake things up a bit and to shake our tail feather, we went to West, a lounge in my city. It is not a place to arrive late at and it offered a pretentious atmosphere with college grads pushing and shoving, grinding and jiving all in an attempt to hang on to their youth.
Whether I’m in the north, east, south, or west, my heart is content and I feel blessed.
In the North East, I bought some items that make my little heart dance. Forced to use gift cards on whim, I purchased some both inexpensive and lush items. From Urban Behavior I found some jeans and a skirt both for only $10. I love finding items that cost little but offer big smiles. Then it was off to LUSH, my favorite cosmetics store. This isn’t a shop, it’s an experience—one that stays with me long after the purchase. Some treats for the skin were bought and if it wasn’t for another engagement, I would have stayed there all day. My heart spun South, for a friendly day out with a friend.
We ate pizza and told stories. My friend Diksha and I always have an adventurous time, even in the most simplest of moments. She is someone that can make even the sun itself shin brighter. She is bubbly and full of excitement, which makes all things with her exciting. Kind and good, you can never be blue when you’re with her. No matter what part of the world she’s in, she always has a piece of my heart.
We sat in F.A.T.S and decided that the South was pleasant but the West was calling. A makeshift picnic on a hill with a spectacular view of her area put us in a relaxed mood. Too relaxed. To shake things up a bit and to shake our tail feather, we went to West, a lounge in my city. It is not a place to arrive late at and it offered a pretentious atmosphere with college grads pushing and shoving, grinding and jiving all in an attempt to hang on to their youth.
Whether I’m in the north, east, south, or west, my heart is content and I feel blessed.
Monday, May 16, 2011
How to stop worrying about the future
I hate worrying about the future. I'm not even sure why I do it when the Lord has already taken care of it. It is a fruitless act to worry. It brings no satisfaction, no ease of mind, it simply drains and pulls one away from success and fulfillment. You cannot do well when you are so busy worrying about doing well. And yet I do it. I worry about my health, will I be well enough to realize my dreams. I worry about falling in love or rather, someone not falling in love with me. I worry about my academic career, will I get good grades and get a good job.
These things run through my mind. I over contemplate. This is actually called furturizing. We all do it on some level, because we are taught from a young age to plan for the future and think ahead. And in some respects it's necessary to think ahead. But it can be done to an excessive point and it can lead to a chronically stressful life when planning becomes chronic stressing about the future. Physical consequences such as loss of sleep, loss of appetite, weariness, and even physical pain can result from this stressing.
So how do we stop this worrying about the future?
By living in the moment.
It seems easier said than done doesn't it. I mean how does one put themselves in the present when there is so much to plan for?
By appreciating the here and now that God has given you. By savoring the little moments you enjoy and by placing your fears of the future in the Lord.
You have no control over your tomorrow as much as you would like to. But you do have control over your today, so focus on that. Focus on what you are doing now. Do it with all your ability. Enjoy and love the present blessings and even challenges you receive because they will shape your future. What you do today will be reflected in your tomorrow. So if you are worrying about the what if's of your future, think and examine how you are living in this very moment.
Trust your life in the Lord, appreciate the present, and release control over your tomorrow.
God Bless
FYG
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Blessed Luck
I'm not lucky. I'm blessed. When I am holding on by a very thin string, God is the one keeping me from falling. He's the one that helps me play a fair hand in this game called life. Though some days I can feel as though there in nothing on my side, and there is no way to come out of a situation a winner, and the stack of cards leave me with very few options. I am reminded that God is on my side. Because he loves me I am always a winner and with his love there is always an option. And most times, the best option is just to keep trusting and believing in him. I cannot rely on luck or hold the belief that it can change but I can maintain the belief that God is still with me and he has blessed me with his love.
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