I don't believe in positive thinking

I believe in positive “feeling.”

The age old theory is, if you tell your mind something enough times it will start to believe it. But just because I tell myself “I am pretty” a hundred times doesn’t mean I “feel” pretty. A dozen people can tell me I’m pretty I still won’t feel it because I don’t believe it.

Self help people try to tell you to change your thinking, but that doesn’t necessarily change the feelings associated to the thoughts and it doesn’t change the behaviors.  Thinking good thoughts doesn’t necessarily mean I’m going to gain good feelings or even attempt living a better life.

For some, it does; they can do the affirmations and mental exercises and change things but for me, I can’t get my mind to believe what it doesn’t feel. I have to first change my feelings and that triggers more positive thoughts and actions.

I can’t just feed my mind nice phrases; I need to feed my heart good feelings. Because if I feel sad, ugly, low ect, it’s going to be hard to get my mind to think otherwise all on its own. I have to give it something to work with.

I usually do this 3 ways

1.  Gratitude and being being grateful. Being grateful is one of the fastest ways to get good feelings. If you’re reading this, you have access to the internet and that is something to be grateful for considering so many people don’t.

Gratitude opens you up  to the things you already have. That means, despite what you may lack, there are things that you don’t have to worry about bringing into life. It’s one less thing for you to deal with.

Maybe you don’t like the way your legs look, but if you’re not in a wheelchair be grateful; if you are in a wheelchair be grateful you at least have a wheelchair to get around in.

Grateful people rarely get depressed, because they feel a sense of appreciation for what they do have and they realize they have something others wish they did. This can give a positive feeling where you’re not focussed on all the things you wish you had.

It doesn’t come just by thinking you’re glad you can walk or you have friends, it’s feeling blessed and not taking it for granted because you could lose that thing.

2. Hope. Hope can make you feel more positive because it can inspire you. You can draw out this hope from your own life and from others.

You may not feel good now, but it probably isn’t the first time you had to deal with something. You got through that so the idea becomes, I can get through this ordeal. Looking to others also does this. For example, lots of people around the world have battled addiction and won. Thus, it’s not an impossible feat and can you feel hopeful that you could also conquer it.

When you are hopeful, you are at least willing to accept the possibility that things can improve. This helps it become more believable when you plug  positive thoughts into your brain. Because you’re not just saying “it will get better” you actually feel hopeful that it will be.

3. DO something positive. Simply sitting around trying to think positive isn’t really helpful. Doing something positive can help you feel more positive, which helps you think more positive. This is especially helpful when you don’t feel hopeful or particularly grateful.

Doing, gives you something to actually work with. You start to see that while you don’t feel ok, at least you are trying. It doesn’t have to be life changing or heroic. Just doing something small, like watching your favorite movie or taking your dog out for a walk can help stir up some positive feelings.

For me, working with “feelings” and not just thoughts is more helpful because it helps me enter a state of “being.” This helps me become a grateful person or become a hopeful, positive person.

So while I might not think I’m pretty, or ok, or have any positive thought, I at least don’t have any deeply set negative feelings because my “being” is in a state of positivity. When that happens, it’s easier to get the mind to believe the positive thoughts that I feed it.

Thank you!

The sun is shinning and I blessed to be out of the hospital so I can enjoy it. I'm still sick, but it's always nice to be in an environment that you feel the love of those around you. It is one of the fastest healers. I was quickly going through my emails and noticed a subscriber sent me a get well wish. Thank you so much Candice! That truly made my day. I hope you, as well as all my readers are well, happy, and safe. 

XX

Are some people born with all the luck?

There are some people who appear to be extremely lucky. They are born into a financially stable family; they have two loving and supportive parents; they live in a location where they have access to ample resources; and the have no major health issues. If life is a race then these types of people have a head start as opposed to  someone who struggles financially; was born or raised by people who don't treat them well, have little access to resources and opportunities, and are battling a difficult or threatening disease. These people seem as if they are doomed to come in last because they have a very poor start.
 
However, if you have ever watched a race, you know that those in the lead don't always finish first. Life is a challenge for all. Whether you are rich and famous or poor and forgotten, it rains in all our lives.

What some people have is an early luck, where they have a number of things in their favor. It seems as if because they have such a great head start the course of their life should run easy, while others must work twice as hard to catch up. But that does not mean those with a head start have it easy, and it doesn't mean their luck won't run out.

Those who endured difficult and traumatic experiences early in their life, often have a resilience and endurance that makes them continue to run a race they know they might loose. This push and willingness to succeed can take them from the back of the race to the front line.

This is not to say that those with a lucky head start don't try, but that desperate instinctive need to survive may be tamed down.

In addition, life has a way leveling the playing field. The person who was born wealthy can make poor financial decisions when they get older; the one that has always been loved can fall in love with someone who hurts them deeply; the healthy one may become tragically injured. It is not uncommon for someone to trip and fall, pulling them back or completely out of the race.

There is another thing which is pivotal to success...emotional stability. Despite having it all some, people can't get happy. They go through bouts of depression. They may feel anxious all the time. Regardless of their lucky head start they fall behind emotionally, always feeling stuck and never truly experiencing joy.

On the other hand, there are some who have very little but have great emotional stability. They are mentally and emotionally at peace.

The unfortunate part of life is no one is born knowing where they will stand at the start mark. If we could, I'm sure we would all want to be the person who had everything working for them. But we are all born with the ability to make something out of our lives. And it is not really a matter of who finishes first in the race of life, but who finishes content. If in each stage of your life (good or bad) you are grateful and feel a sense of contentment then you will always run a good race and will always have a special kind of luck.  
 

Moments of my day Feb 22

You wake up, thinking the day will be like any other and suddenly something happens to change it...like winning a contest. Mid morning, I recieved a message notifying me that I was the winner of a contest held by a youtube  member. I'm never lucky in contests, so I was more than excited when I found out I won.

It's amazing how winning something, having something good happen to you, makes the whole day sit on an optimistic and postive note. I felt lucky throughout the day.

Simply being to able wakup this morning with little pain, a roof over my head and a family makes me lucky or rather blessed, but we so often take these things for granted. I was more excited about winning something. Because for that moment it was as if fate chose me instead of anyone else. But fate chose me all day long, all month long.

 I'm still here, while other are not. I have friends and a family, while others don't, and I am safe, while many others are praying to be rescued.

We forget the mundane are the significant things in our life; the things that we assume are natural and everyday, like checking text messages (which is not at all mundane since in order to do so you must have a cell phone and that is a luxury in itself). Even if I had not won the contest I still would be considered a very lucky girl.

{Sorry I do not have a pic of my day but I thank you for reading xox}

Start your day with a smile

Start your day with a smile. Even if you feel you have nothing to smile about, look around and give a thought to many things that are in your life.
Smile at the dawn of morning and the light that shines.
Smile at the sound of your beating heart and the work its been doing.
Smile at the notion of being alive and having a day to live.
Smile at the prospect of making this day a good one.
Smile at yourself for you are definitely something worth smiling at.

Never frown at a new morn because it is a gift that can be quickly taken away.

Letter to a friend: short text = big smiles.

Dear Jack,

Thank you for texting me after lunch yesterday to see how it went since you couldn't make it. None of my friends showed up, but I had a blast with my sister's friends. It was such a simple act to text and check up on the event, but it was greatly felt and appreciated. And you were the only one that did it.

I know I could send you off an email to say this, but I wanted it to be somewhere that I could quickly turn to on days when I feel a bit alone to remind me that common courtesy still exists and small acts have enormous weight.

We don't see each other often and I know that I can't always keep our plans, but it's never because I don't want to. I'm very glad to know you and I wanted you to know that your little act made a big impact on my day.