A terrifying and beautiful thought

One of the most terrifying things about life is that you can become almost anything you set your mind and heart to. I use the word terrifying not as a negative, but it demonstrates the feeling of having boundless possibilities before you.

 If you were to look back 3 years ago, you may have imagined yourself at the very spot you are in now or the complete opposite has happened and life is very different from what you've imagined. Regardless, this shows that as we progress we become whatever our wills push us to become and nothing else.

 And if you think about the next 3 years of your life, you are greeted with a galaxy wide span of options. Anything can happen. The thought of life becomes more than simply goals, doing, and breathing. It's like standing on a high plateau looking at the great sky in front of you trying to take in all that in ahead of you, marveling at the vastness and beauty of it all.

With each day,  you are met with a countless number of possibilities. Your life at any given moment can go in any direction. You may start the day feeling so very single, and by the end of it you have a date. You could be bored at your desk and within the hour you get a call that a loved one has been in an accident. If you consider how many curves, twists, and opportunities life can toss at you you begin to see that the creation of who you become is something of a wonder.

This is why you should never think of your life as unchangeable. Things are altering around you without your permission, but when you become an active participant in your own life what you can make of it is astounding. With the help of God all things are possible, but you must be fully engaged in your own life. You may be working towards something you've always wanted, or maybe you don't know where you're going, perhaps things are finally looking up--as long as you always keep faith and give your own life a chance, you'll find life will give you something worth waking up for.

How to achieve a balanced life

One of the most difficult things to do in life is to keep your life in balance. If you meet someone who looks as if all is going well for them, they are usually working very hard at it.

 General life obligations, and personal expectations make the art of living a very challenging one to master. Something in your life may be going great while another is part of your life is falling apart. And lets not forget the moments when it seem as if everything is crumbling around you.

Some people never feel in balance with their life. They never feel life hands them what they want, when they want it or they feel exhausted at constantly having to keep things in balance.

But if you look at people whose lives do look joyous, peaceful and balanced you may be see a some common elements.

1. They make themselves a priority. If you're always committing to others, never making time for yourself and the things that make you happy; if it's always your friends, kids, boss, spouse, parents that come first then it's no wonder you're feeling fed up with life.

You're not giving enough of your time and energy to yourself. You are not doing anything wrong if you make yourself a priority. In fact, it is essential. If you're not at your best then, no matter how much you're giving, nobody in your life is getting your best.

You need to take care of yourself first: body, mind and soul, before you start dishing parts of yourself to others.

2. They ask for help. Nobody can do it on their own. Each of us has only one body and we are only capable of so much. People who have their life in balance seek the help of others.

It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help. Instead, it gives you a chance to  a) sort out other things in your life
b) get things done faster.
Ask for advice, help, resources when you can to make your life easier.

3. They don't expect everything to be perfect. Most of us are trying way too hard to obtain an unachievable state of perfection in our lives. This is never going happen. Life moves in waves-- high tides and low.

 It's not realistic to expect that every part of your life is going run smoothly at the same time. We are human; we get sick; we get into disputes; we're thrown curve balls. It's more a matter of how to positively deal with things rather than expecting every moment of your life to be perfect.

4. They celebrate the good, deal with the bad. Some people don't take time to rejoice over the good things that happen in their lives. As I said above, they're too busy trying to make everything perfect to see what is actually going right in their lives.

Others fail to acknowledge the parts of their lives that need tweaking. They either don't want to admit they are making a mistake, or don't know how to address certain issues in their lives. But people in balance know that they have to deal with the things keeping them out of balance and take the time to appreciate all the ways life is being good to them.

Having a balanced life is a day to day thing. It's not something you do once and forget about. It takes making yourself a priority, asking for help when needed, dealing with issues that may be holding you back and not expecting life to be perfect.

Is jealousy really wrong?

For the record, jealousy is not envy. They are not interchangeable, because they reflect two different emotioal states and social situations.

Envy is when you want something you don't have. Jealousy is the fear of losing something you already have.

 For example, if you want your friend's boyfriend/girfriend then you are envious of your friend, but if you see your boyfriend/girlfriend getting along with someone else, and you fear being replaced for that person then you are jealous.

Between the two, only envy is considered a sin. The only way jealousy becomes a sin is when it turns to wrath where you would go to extreme measures to protect what you feel belongs to you.

Remember, if you want what is not yours, you are envious. If you are afriad of losing what is yours to another, you are jealous.

Not everyone experiences envy. Some people simply do not wish for what others have; they are either perfectly content with what they do have, or feel they will get something similar eventually.

They have the ability to be genuinally happy for people without feeling sad or less-than because they don't have the same thing.

Thus, while envy is a common sin, it is not experienced by all. The term "they do not have a jealous bone in their body" should actually be "they do not have an envious bone in their body."

Jealousy is far more common than envy. Even someone who does not envy can feel jealous. It's animal nature to fear being replaced, losing something that is important, or giving up something you feel belongs to you.

 Highly jealous people may be clingy; they may not share often; and may act possessive or entitled to the things and people in their life.

A jelaous boyfriend won't like the idea of his girlfriend having other male friends, because even if he trusts his girlfriend, he views the other males as a threat. All throughout the animal kingdom we see displays of jealous behaviour. Whether it is a fight for resources, or mates, virtually every animal want to protects what they feel is theirs.

In some cultures, jealousy is actually promoted. It is seen as a healthy way to create competition and encourage others to improve themselves. After all, if you feel someone might take your position, you'll most likely work harder to keep it.

These cultures inject this fear of being replaced heavily so the people are constantly investing time, energy, and money into keeping hold of something forever.

Think of the idea of youth. Americans are so bombarded with the idea of being young and fresh that even a 25 year old would feel aged. They begin to feel jealous of those who are still in their teens not because they themselves want to be 16, but they don't want to lose some of privilages that Americans associate with being young. Jealousy comes in many forms.

It is also used to teach people not to take things for granted. Perhaps you have made someone jealous in order to remind them how important you are to them.

Where jealousy becomes a negative is when we are willing to do whatever it takes to keep what belongs to you.

Much like an envious person who goes to great lengths to steal something away, a jealous person can react in the same negative way in order to keep it.

 We've heard of the jealous lover that kills her opponent, or even the jealous friend that spreads rumors to make the other person look bad. When jealousy causes us to behave negatively: lying, cheating, hurting; or when it begins to rule us making us anxious, depressed, suspcious all the time, then it is wrong.

Envy in any stage is wrong, but a little jealousy is not wrong.

Are some people born with all the luck?

There are some people who appear to be extremely lucky. They are born into a financially stable family; they have two loving and supportive parents; they live in a location where they have access to ample resources; and the have no major health issues. If life is a race then these types of people have a head start as opposed to  someone who struggles financially; was born or raised by people who don't treat them well, have little access to resources and opportunities, and are battling a difficult or threatening disease. These people seem as if they are doomed to come in last because they have a very poor start.
 
However, if you have ever watched a race, you know that those in the lead don't always finish first. Life is a challenge for all. Whether you are rich and famous or poor and forgotten, it rains in all our lives.

What some people have is an early luck, where they have a number of things in their favor. It seems as if because they have such a great head start the course of their life should run easy, while others must work twice as hard to catch up. But that does not mean those with a head start have it easy, and it doesn't mean their luck won't run out.

Those who endured difficult and traumatic experiences early in their life, often have a resilience and endurance that makes them continue to run a race they know they might loose. This push and willingness to succeed can take them from the back of the race to the front line.

This is not to say that those with a lucky head start don't try, but that desperate instinctive need to survive may be tamed down.

In addition, life has a way leveling the playing field. The person who was born wealthy can make poor financial decisions when they get older; the one that has always been loved can fall in love with someone who hurts them deeply; the healthy one may become tragically injured. It is not uncommon for someone to trip and fall, pulling them back or completely out of the race.

There is another thing which is pivotal to success...emotional stability. Despite having it all some, people can't get happy. They go through bouts of depression. They may feel anxious all the time. Regardless of their lucky head start they fall behind emotionally, always feeling stuck and never truly experiencing joy.

On the other hand, there are some who have very little but have great emotional stability. They are mentally and emotionally at peace.

The unfortunate part of life is no one is born knowing where they will stand at the start mark. If we could, I'm sure we would all want to be the person who had everything working for them. But we are all born with the ability to make something out of our lives. And it is not really a matter of who finishes first in the race of life, but who finishes content. If in each stage of your life (good or bad) you are grateful and feel a sense of contentment then you will always run a good race and will always have a special kind of luck.  
 

My Sweet April

If March is a lion then April really is a lamb. It is more gentle towards me; more understanding, innocent and calm. I can handle April and it's challenges. I feel content. I don't know why I never achieve this level satisfaction with March, but I suppose everyone has their "winter."

The winds are brisk this April. There are still patches of snow and ice, yet I feel no disain for the slow coming of spring.

I look at April fondly, like that friend that is gentle and calming. The one you can spill your heart to without feeling judged. The one that smiles sadly at you knowing what a long a journey you've had and how much further you have to go.

 It says rest here, catch your breath. I won't over disturb you. March is demanding. March has expectations. March forcefully wants me to succeed. April wants me to try but not exhaust myself. April is courteous. It listens; tell me your woes; speak to me of your adventures.

 If you ever meet someone like the month of April, someone who is gentle and warm, someone who is patient and uplifting thank them--for they are like spring giving you a kind of renewal by implanting confidence and hope into your garden of life after a long winter. 

Unload

Songs of Kabir LXI said, With the load of desires which you hold on your head, how can you be light?...Keep within you: truth, detachment, and love.

I take this quote to heart and try to make it part of my life. 

We are so full of want. So much so that we forget what we genuinely and deeply need. More so, we forget that we need so little.

I feel a need to want less. I am inspired to unload, detach and renouce claim over my vain desires...or at least remind myself to.

Dress: H&M
Sweater: H&M
Gloves: Etsy
Shoes: Thrifted
Bag: Thrift Store
Stockings: Ardene

Let Them Judge

 

Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day. These are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ.

Colossians 2:16-17

When the words and expressions of others get to me; when I let their judgements of trivial matters affect me; I remember the words above. How silly is it to let someone's opinion of your choice of food or music matter to you.

We are quicker to be offended by how someone sees our taste in food than by our moral standpoint. We would rather fight for our hobbies than our principles. 

The trivial life pursuits of others should not weigh so heavy on our minds. Yet somehow it does. We don't want to associate with those who dislike our favorite movie. It's become more appalling for someone to reject our sense of style than our sense of self worth. 

The songs that fill your ears are not nearly as descriptive of you as the words that fill your heart. What you feed your mouth is not quite as important as what you feed your mind and soul. While it may be interesting to learn how others live through their food, fashion, and day to day life style choices, do not let this alone be an adequate picture of who they are. 

We are more than our breads and butter and do not let the dismissal of a personal preference get your feelings in a wave. Pay them no mind for you are more than anyone will ever know.

Sweater: forever21

Hat: thrifted

Jeans: urbanbehavior

Humble Trust

I work to give up my pride and turn away from my arrogance. I am not concerned with great matters. Instead, I am content and at peace. As a child lies quietly in its parents arms, so my heart is quiet within me. I will trust in the LORD, now and forever.