How to achieve a balanced life

One of the most difficult things to do in life is to keep your life in balance. If you meet someone who looks as if all is going well for them, they are usually working very hard at it.

 General life obligations, and personal expectations make the art of living a very challenging one to master. Something in your life may be going great while another is part of your life is falling apart. And lets not forget the moments when it seem as if everything is crumbling around you.

Some people never feel in balance with their life. They never feel life hands them what they want, when they want it or they feel exhausted at constantly having to keep things in balance.

But if you look at people whose lives do look joyous, peaceful and balanced you may be see a some common elements.

1. They make themselves a priority. If you're always committing to others, never making time for yourself and the things that make you happy; if it's always your friends, kids, boss, spouse, parents that come first then it's no wonder you're feeling fed up with life.

You're not giving enough of your time and energy to yourself. You are not doing anything wrong if you make yourself a priority. In fact, it is essential. If you're not at your best then, no matter how much you're giving, nobody in your life is getting your best.

You need to take care of yourself first: body, mind and soul, before you start dishing parts of yourself to others.

2. They ask for help. Nobody can do it on their own. Each of us has only one body and we are only capable of so much. People who have their life in balance seek the help of others.

It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help. Instead, it gives you a chance to  a) sort out other things in your life
b) get things done faster.
Ask for advice, help, resources when you can to make your life easier.

3. They don't expect everything to be perfect. Most of us are trying way too hard to obtain an unachievable state of perfection in our lives. This is never going happen. Life moves in waves-- high tides and low.

 It's not realistic to expect that every part of your life is going run smoothly at the same time. We are human; we get sick; we get into disputes; we're thrown curve balls. It's more a matter of how to positively deal with things rather than expecting every moment of your life to be perfect.

4. They celebrate the good, deal with the bad. Some people don't take time to rejoice over the good things that happen in their lives. As I said above, they're too busy trying to make everything perfect to see what is actually going right in their lives.

Others fail to acknowledge the parts of their lives that need tweaking. They either don't want to admit they are making a mistake, or don't know how to address certain issues in their lives. But people in balance know that they have to deal with the things keeping them out of balance and take the time to appreciate all the ways life is being good to them.

Having a balanced life is a day to day thing. It's not something you do once and forget about. It takes making yourself a priority, asking for help when needed, dealing with issues that may be holding you back and not expecting life to be perfect.

The process of becoming perfect

“Call me when you have your shit together” I’ve never liked this phrase, because although it implies that you won’t settle, it also imposes a certain amount of pressure to be perfect on the person being told to “get their shit together.” When my friend said it recently, I wasn’t able to hide my dislike for the phrase and replied “do you know how hard it is to get your shit together?”

“Do you have any idea how much support it takes to get your shit together?”

“People don’t just magically wake up with their shit together. They have to go throw a very trying, difficult, challenging and sometimes insecure periods of their life in order to become the person they want to be.”

I look at humans at works of art in progress and let’s be honest most us appreciate the final product of great art. But no great art magically got like that. Someone put a lot of time and effort to create it, so as much praise as the final product should get an even greater amount of appreciation should go towards the actual process of its creation.

Like any goal, it takes work and hours of commitment to achieve that goal. If you’ve ever achieved any level of success you’ll know what I’m talking about. You have to go through an unglamorous period where you’re building yourself whether that be your self-esteem, your skill, your knowledge etc.

The problem with many people is they don’t always take time to appreciate the process.  They don’t get enthusiastic about becoming who they want to be; they simply want to be it.

They don’t decide to like themselves until they have reached that goal. When they look in the mirror and see someone worthy of their love then they like themselves and feel more confident in seeking love from someone else.

 This imposition of perfection on themselves seeps out where they unknowingly expect it from others. They don’t want to deal with the “seed” of a person they want the blossomed flower—pretty and perfect. 

The frightening part about this is you are not given permission to fail and go through the “unpretty” stages of life freely. You’re just supposed to somehow “get your shit together. But unless you are able to go through the process of creating who you want to become with as much freedom to fail as you would have to succeed, it’s very difficult to successfully do it.

Humans are always under construction; we are never “finished products.” We become and desire different things in different stages in our lives. In other words, we will never truly have our shit together. All we can do is try and if you are diligently trying then what more should you ask of yourself or even anyone else.

What I think the world needs is less demand on being super beings and more acceptance of being who we feel makes us happy.

I asked my friend, “Wouldn’t you want someone who was willing to be with you in all stages of your life so long as you were trying.  Whether you’re a master in your field, up and coming or are picking yourself up after a heartbreaking fall, wouldn’t you like someone that is willing to be both encouraging and sympathetic.”

We should be patience and enthusiastic about our life and with others. We should see that the seed of a rose and the last decaying petal is still a rose—not demand that it quickly grow into its beauty and then remain like that forever. 

Moments from my day

There are times when I don't feel like compromising or waiting for a better day. Today was one of those days. I had an idea in mind of what I wanted from my day and decided to bring it forth. Sometimes your day dictates to you and sometimes you need to dictate to your day "this is how it's going to be!" My day listened.

I started by telling my day I wanted a thrifted mini backpack. My sister was kind enough to drive me out to the store and low and behold a Derek Alexander leather mini backpack was waiting for me. It was a steal at only 2 dollars. I also bought a long button down vest for $2.50. And my sister found a large stylish carpet bag for $4.00. Needless to say it was a good thrifting day.

I also decided today I was going to eat Mcdonalds. Without giving a care to nutrition or fat content, I indugled and felt very pleased about it. But while smiling at my meal, strawberry punch poured in my sister's car landing on my favorite trench. I guess it was my day's way of saying, "you can't have it all perfect." No bother. I'm too happy about the comment my professor left on my final paper to mind any spills and mishaps.

In fact I am posting her comment here, because I may never see a pleasant review of a graded work again. That and it may motivate me the next time I stress about a paper.

Dear Adelaide,


This is an excellent paper and a pleasure to read. I have pointed to certain sreas that could use more careful thinking and questioning; however, you have pulled together key contexts in evaluating the issue of individual rights and freedoms and the controls in place.


Best of luck in your future endeavours.

Romita

Are You Perfect?

Dr Wayne Dyer says in his book, The Sky’s the Limit that “you must allow yourself to think of yourself as perfect if you are ever going to achieve your full potential.” He then goes on to explain that thinking of yourself as perfect in no regard means that you lacking motivation for future growth.

These words provide great truth. Many people “settle” with the status quo. Then there are notions that we associate with perfect as arrogant or a cop out to journey further in life. But the truth is you can grow, change and reinvent yourself and still be perfect.  

It’s important that the essence of one’s perfection is evaluating themselves, accepting what they perceive as perfect in the present and growing from that.

When was the last time you marveled at your potential? Yesterday? Last week? Maybe you never have. Every single person should marvel at their potential each and everyday. The only way you can fully arrive into life is to view yourself with new eyes instead of meekly “going with the flow” because you don’t think you’re good enough to get into the big game.

Grant yourself permission today to grow and achieve further. Very few people give attention to the born capabilities in every human being to achieve greatness beyond the status quo.
There is no hard statistical data to measure greatness, so you don’t have to chart your data between normality and something worse.

If you feel that you are coping with life as well as the next person why not see yourself further, instead of seeing how you stack up against other people.

Begin to look at yourself in a new and exciting way.

Change for the better

The quote above says "people change for the better, not for the worse." With God, they do. They adapt better, they cope better, they make better decisions, and they live and love better. Being on the other side, when I tried to change without him, didn't let me do a good job. I mean I was living, and I was changing, but I wasn't becoming someone I could be proud of. Perhaps it was because I was changing for the world, doing what those who live for external wanted me to do. But the external is limiting. You can only accomplish so much; you can only experience so much; and you can only change so much. But returning to the internal and the eternal eliminated the boundaries and limits. I changed fully, while still allowing myself to believe that God made me perfect. That in this moment, I can accept who I am and live as my best self.