Not even in fairy tales

You don't really want a fairy tale. If you do, you've never really read one. Because if you have read a fairy tale, you'd remember that there were dragons as well as princes; magic was used for both evil and good, and that happily ever after never came before dark and stormy nights.

Life isn't easy. Not even in fairy tales.

But life is a lot like a fairy tale. It takes courage to stand up to the evil witches and dragrons in our lives. It's takes heart to pursue your prince or believe that he does in fact love you, once he shows up. And like all fairy tales, it takes a kind of hope and patience in knowing that your dreams will come true.

When you feel life is unfair remember this

When you feel life is unfair--that the pressure is too much, or you are exhausted from trying, remember that the flowers must start out as buds. They must wait for the rains and the sun to come and go. Up and out from the ground, they must push themselves in order to be the beauties we all stop and admire. Do not be afraid of life's challenges. Celebrate the rain, the sun, and before long you will be like the blossomed flower: beautiful and admirable.

Photo is my own. The wild rose is native to my Province.

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Are some people born with all the luck?

There are some people who appear to be extremely lucky. They are born into a financially stable family; they have two loving and supportive parents; they live in a location where they have access to ample resources; and the have no major health issues. If life is a race then these types of people have a head start as opposed to  someone who struggles financially; was born or raised by people who don't treat them well, have little access to resources and opportunities, and are battling a difficult or threatening disease. These people seem as if they are doomed to come in last because they have a very poor start.
 
However, if you have ever watched a race, you know that those in the lead don't always finish first. Life is a challenge for all. Whether you are rich and famous or poor and forgotten, it rains in all our lives.

What some people have is an early luck, where they have a number of things in their favor. It seems as if because they have such a great head start the course of their life should run easy, while others must work twice as hard to catch up. But that does not mean those with a head start have it easy, and it doesn't mean their luck won't run out.

Those who endured difficult and traumatic experiences early in their life, often have a resilience and endurance that makes them continue to run a race they know they might loose. This push and willingness to succeed can take them from the back of the race to the front line.

This is not to say that those with a lucky head start don't try, but that desperate instinctive need to survive may be tamed down.

In addition, life has a way leveling the playing field. The person who was born wealthy can make poor financial decisions when they get older; the one that has always been loved can fall in love with someone who hurts them deeply; the healthy one may become tragically injured. It is not uncommon for someone to trip and fall, pulling them back or completely out of the race.

There is another thing which is pivotal to success...emotional stability. Despite having it all some, people can't get happy. They go through bouts of depression. They may feel anxious all the time. Regardless of their lucky head start they fall behind emotionally, always feeling stuck and never truly experiencing joy.

On the other hand, there are some who have very little but have great emotional stability. They are mentally and emotionally at peace.

The unfortunate part of life is no one is born knowing where they will stand at the start mark. If we could, I'm sure we would all want to be the person who had everything working for them. But we are all born with the ability to make something out of our lives. And it is not really a matter of who finishes first in the race of life, but who finishes content. If in each stage of your life (good or bad) you are grateful and feel a sense of contentment then you will always run a good race and will always have a special kind of luck.  
 

My Sweet April

If March is a lion then April really is a lamb. It is more gentle towards me; more understanding, innocent and calm. I can handle April and it's challenges. I feel content. I don't know why I never achieve this level satisfaction with March, but I suppose everyone has their "winter."

The winds are brisk this April. There are still patches of snow and ice, yet I feel no disain for the slow coming of spring.

I look at April fondly, like that friend that is gentle and calming. The one you can spill your heart to without feeling judged. The one that smiles sadly at you knowing what a long a journey you've had and how much further you have to go.

 It says rest here, catch your breath. I won't over disturb you. March is demanding. March has expectations. March forcefully wants me to succeed. April wants me to try but not exhaust myself. April is courteous. It listens; tell me your woes; speak to me of your adventures.

 If you ever meet someone like the month of April, someone who is gentle and warm, someone who is patient and uplifting thank them--for they are like spring giving you a kind of renewal by implanting confidence and hope into your garden of life after a long winter. 

Change Me 2012

Change seems to be falling from the sky. I let it crash upon me without dodging. There is no time to ask for more time. Today is here. Yesterday is buried. All the yesterdays made a circle of 365 that tic toced away until before I realized I was standing in the exact place I had when the clock struck 12 last year. But I wasn't the same. Things aren't the same. Change fell. I let it fall on me. But I stand here feeling childish, like a school girl going to her first class for the first time. I felt, I had not grown. Time moved. I watched it, but I didn't move with it. Was it fatigue or was it fear? I can't tell. But my long sock are as higher in spirits than me.
The year felt shorter than my skirt, yet ballooned to exaggerate and falsify more .

I watched the days like a movie. Seeing the characters, me, play their part and only being able to watch. There is only one show playing, my life, and I can't do much more but watch and wait for a change in scene. Change is coming. I talk  back to the show, wishing the characters could hear me, the way you yell out during a horror flick "don't go into the basement." It's like when you cover your eyes at the scary parts, but behind your shut eyes you can still see everything that is happening. The show plays on whether you want to watch or not. The show doesn't end it simply changes. New roles, new lessons, new feelings, but the same show.

I try to kick away the school girl feelings. "Grow up" I say, "grow." Time is moving and you're still at the same place. My height is tall; my courage measures short. I still close my eyes at the scary parts. And like a backward Cinderella, I expect everything the be different at the stroke of 12. As if everything will be fairytale happy after screaming out New Year cheers. It won't. Like Cinderella things will go back to the same, unless I make a change. There will be change. Change is already falling and I'm not moving out of it's way. Come forth my tomorrow, my new year. Give me new lessons, new moments, something new. Give me change.

Check shirt: thrifted
Tie: thrift
Vest: Smart Set
Skirt:Urban Behavior
Knit Socks: Unknown
Heels: thrift

xox followers and readers.  Thanks for stopping  by

Why playing it safe isn’t always best

It makes sense to avoid the risks involved with hazardous things, like jumping off a cliff without a parachute. However, when it comes to getting out of an unfulfilling relationship or job those same cautious instincts can backfire.

Because change seems, scary we believe that it posses a greater risk than sticking with the status quo. However, we often fail to factor in how not taking a risk can lead to an unfulfilling life. As well as all the things we could be missing out on. Consider the following if you are on of the many that play it safe.

Get out of your comfort zone
Many people don’t like to “rock the boat” especially once they obtain some level of success. The downside of this is that you no longer “play to win” instead, you “play to lose”. Experts confirm that this approach of hesitation and second guessing rarely lead you to the desired outcome. Because what you are doing is subconsciously scaling back our efforts and robing yourself of chances to flourish.

In order to “play to win” you have to acknowledge your fear of the unknown in a proactive way. If you are scared of setting up starting your own business or going after that promotion at your company, list your hesitation and ask yourself how you’d handle the worst case scenario. By looking at specific what ifs, you can evaporate some fears and give yourself the confidence boost to get back in the game.

 Stop waiting for the right moment
A lot of us put of doing things we dream of, like taking that dream vacation or starting our own business, because we are holding out for the best conditions possible. What we forget is by waiting for the right moment we may never accomplish these things. Iris Songivliano, a clinical psychologist in New York City said it best when he said “In order to be dealt a winning hand, you have to be in the game.

Rather than waiting around for the right moment, go after what you want. Create your opportunities by setting tiny yet, specific goals. If you always wanted to start your business, you can start by doing some research, figure out what it would take by drafting a business plan. Same goes if you always wanted to visit Germany. Decide which season you would like to go and then read a travel book on the city.

Since the brain interprets small everyday goals as easier to tackle then big lifelong goals, you’ll jump start a stalled mind-set to propel you toward reaching your ultimate outcome.

Don’t dwell on past disappointments
You, like many others, may allow only the negative memories or our past failures to impact your future decision-making. By doing this, you ignore all the positive things you’ve learned from earlier experiences. But the more you see the broader the picture surrounding life challenges, the faster and easier the trail to triumph will shift into focus.   

Is it all worth it?

I try not to complain about school. I try to be grateful for the opportunity. So often, we take things for granted that others struggle to obtain or worse are never offered.

For medical reasons, I don't attend traditional classes. I also didn't get to continue my education in a continuous motion, like I would have preferred. But you do what you can when you can.

However, despite my wanting to be grateful and joyful of this academic experience, it's not always easy. At least I find it more difficult than say being grateful for having a job or food on the table.
I mean I have to eat, even if I don't love the meal the alternative is so blatantly worse. And as for work, I may dislike it at times but there's more of an incentive. I need money. Even if I hate the job, it still offers me an overt benefit for putting up with it. But when it comes to academia, it's sometimes hard to see the trade off. I think I'd feel more enthusiastic if I was attending regular classes.

Online studies can leave you feeling...alone. There isn't someone that can quickly address your concerns. You never really know if you're on the right track and there isn't any peer motivation or assistance. I actually find working from home easier. I do the same amount of reading, I write more than a few essay sized pieces and, often times, I'm on an even tighter deadline with someone expecting even more (since they're paying). In other words, it's just as stressful. But I never feel stressed with work, even when I'm struggling to get the project done on time at the level the client wants.

One might ask, if you already have a career, why continue education. And that's what I've been asking myself too. It's not as if I can work in some skyscraper with a corner office someday. I barely have the health to get through an intense day of work at home. Thus even after I graduate, I'm still stuck looking for clients and working hard to keep them and having an endless list of degrees doesn't prompt prospects to want to work with you online. In fact, in this world it can scare them off.
I've been wondering if the expense and added workload of university studies is actually worth it. 

Easily, I could discourage myself, if I continued so in an effort to remind myself that I should be doing what I'm doing I attempted to make a list of the benefits of school. Keep in mind this my personal list. I don't attend a campus so I can't include the joys of campus life on here.

Why continue school
Because you can. Too many people don't get the opportunity to even step foot in a classroom. For the sake of having the opportunity finish school.

Because it might come in handy. We learn a lot of useless crap in school but sometimes you find yourself grateful for having a certain bit of knowledge.

Because it is one of the best ways to mark your growth. It's so challenging that seeing yourself get through it makes you believe in yourself even more.