Banff: Mountains and Memories

The mountains and evergreens of Banff welcomed my friends and I this summer. A day was spent treking through the small town, while we took in the daily life of those that live there. Pastry shops, sushi and local boutiques were all stops along the way.

Though not far away, it feels like entering a different time. Perhaps it's the pace. Banff, being a small tow, feels like stepping into a time period where you still knew the nieghbor, and the local bar knows your order by heart.

 When you live in a place so long, without really venturing out (that includes outside your own perspective), you forget what it may look like to someone else. The drive to Banff had it's postcard picturesque moments that left me in awe of my own Province.

The rains began to fall; the fog decended, and the scene took on a a mystic eerie feel, that made one both worried and yet inspired. It's the kind of scene that is beautiful to stare at from ones window, safe indoors, but creates feelings of deep caution when you have to drive in it.

The rains slide down the mighty mountains, unaffecting it's majesty, and slipped into the lake, making little ripples that carried on seemingly endlessly. The weather was gratifying. Not too hot, nor too cold. The rains brought out the mosquitos who enthusiastically followed us through our walk.

One of my favorite things about going somewhere else is trying new food. That's also the downside, since new favorite treats cannot easily be accessed. But it gives me an excuse to go there again. In Banff is a Pastry shop that sells ice cream and a dessert called "Beaver Tail." The Beaver is a big part of Alberta culture, so the name is fitting. The dessert comes in a varity of flavors, but my friends and I opted for Skor and cream cheese. It was delicious! The pastry itself is rich and kind of sweet, but the skor, frosting, and caramel...divine.
The sushi in Banff was also tasty and well priced considering that Banff food can be a bit pricey.

 
It's nice to get out of the city, even if you don't go very far. See other sights, engage in different activites, and give yor senses something new to take in. We saw muesum exhibits, horses pulling tourists down the street and locals going on with their ordinary days. And I wonder if they ever take the time to see their lovely little towne the way we outsiders do.

Lessons from the Swan Princess

The Swan Princess is a 1994 animated film based off the ballet Swan Lake. It was never one of my favorite movies, but now, looking back, I found it offered some more insightful lessons than many Disney movies.

The movie is about a girl, Odette, who is supposed to marry prince Derek, her childhood playmate. Every summer their parents had the two of them meet in hopes that they would one day fall in love and marry. As children, they really can't stand each other and dread their summer's together. But as the years go on and they enter early adulthood they begin to grow fond of eachother. Meanwhile, there is an evil enchanter, Rothbart, wants to take the kindgdom. His plans are foiled in the beginning but he vows that one day everything Odette's father loves will belong to Rothbart. 

At a great ball, Prince Derek expresses his desire to marry Odette. And this is where the lessons begin

Odette asks him why he like her and prince Derek admits it is because she is so beautiful. Odette then asks, "what else?" And prince Derek says a pretty heart hitting line, "What else is there?"
Hurt by his response. Odette rejects him and leaves the ball.

Society has made it so being thought of as beautiful by someone you like should be enough. As if somehow if a girl can get a guy to be satified with her looks than she has accomplished something. Even as a child, I watched Odette leave that ball feeling proud of her and any woman who had the sense to demand her man see her as more than a pretty face.

Yes, it's nice to get a compliment but you can't mistake someone liking your appearance with real love.

I have actually used the line "what else?" with guys because it's amazing to see how suddenly the guy has to try and consider who you are as a person rather than feeling like he did some good deed for calling you pretty.

 Girls are being raised to accept any "pretty" compliment they can get (guys aren't off the hook either)

If their "prince" thinks they are attractive and nothing more, they accept it. They don't even ask if he sees more to her. Even if she is talented, full of good virtue, and an all around great person a guy will still rely on saying "you're pretty" to entertain her ego.

Prince Derek was so excited to see himself married to a pretty girl and that's all he saw. This is repulsive and fearsome for a number of ways.

 Odette as pretty as she is was not responsible for her looks. No one is because no one decides how they come out of the womb or grow up physically.

If your blue eyes are stunning that's God's doing not yours. Even if you change your physical appreance through surgery it's still someone else who had a hand in it. Thus "you're beautiful" never has been or will be a compliment. It's like when someone says I like your top, but you didn't make it. It means nothing.

For Prince Derek to think he was giving Odette a compliment proves he is a very vain man.

 When he no longer finds you beautiful, he will move on and the fact that he believes a girl has some role in her beauty means he expects you to do whatever it takes to remain beautiful. That is a rather cruel task to put on any human.

 It means, for the rest of your life you owe your selfworth to being appreciated by something you actually have no control over.

This is why a girl or guy will skip meals just to be a certain weight. Or why they will mentally put themselves down until their self esteem is so low they can't even imagine liking themselves.

You have a resposibilty to be a good person not a good looking one!

Odette was smart enough to see through Prince Derek and left. She may have cared about him, but she loved herself more; she knew she was more than just a pretty face and decided to take a personal stand against being some doll for Prince Derek.

It wasn't until Prince Derek could love Odette for more than her looks that she decided to be with him. I wish more girls and guys would do that.You may be attracted to someone physically and they may like your features but you shouldn't make someone feel they always have to be "pretty" for you. Nor should you feel like you have to look a certain way for them. If looks is all there is in the relationship, you have no real relationship

The Swan Princess is a movie that shows girls it's ok to walk away from someone, even if you like them, if they don't value you as more.

I don't believe in positive thinking

I believe in positive “feeling.”

The age old theory is, if you tell your mind something enough times it will start to believe it. But just because I tell myself “I am pretty” a hundred times doesn’t mean I “feel” pretty. A dozen people can tell me I’m pretty I still won’t feel it because I don’t believe it.

Self help people try to tell you to change your thinking, but that doesn’t necessarily change the feelings associated to the thoughts and it doesn’t change the behaviors.  Thinking good thoughts doesn’t necessarily mean I’m going to gain good feelings or even attempt living a better life.

For some, it does; they can do the affirmations and mental exercises and change things but for me, I can’t get my mind to believe what it doesn’t feel. I have to first change my feelings and that triggers more positive thoughts and actions.

I can’t just feed my mind nice phrases; I need to feed my heart good feelings. Because if I feel sad, ugly, low ect, it’s going to be hard to get my mind to think otherwise all on its own. I have to give it something to work with.

I usually do this 3 ways

1.  Gratitude and being being grateful. Being grateful is one of the fastest ways to get good feelings. If you’re reading this, you have access to the internet and that is something to be grateful for considering so many people don’t.

Gratitude opens you up  to the things you already have. That means, despite what you may lack, there are things that you don’t have to worry about bringing into life. It’s one less thing for you to deal with.

Maybe you don’t like the way your legs look, but if you’re not in a wheelchair be grateful; if you are in a wheelchair be grateful you at least have a wheelchair to get around in.

Grateful people rarely get depressed, because they feel a sense of appreciation for what they do have and they realize they have something others wish they did. This can give a positive feeling where you’re not focussed on all the things you wish you had.

It doesn’t come just by thinking you’re glad you can walk or you have friends, it’s feeling blessed and not taking it for granted because you could lose that thing.

2. Hope. Hope can make you feel more positive because it can inspire you. You can draw out this hope from your own life and from others.

You may not feel good now, but it probably isn’t the first time you had to deal with something. You got through that so the idea becomes, I can get through this ordeal. Looking to others also does this. For example, lots of people around the world have battled addiction and won. Thus, it’s not an impossible feat and can you feel hopeful that you could also conquer it.

When you are hopeful, you are at least willing to accept the possibility that things can improve. This helps it become more believable when you plug  positive thoughts into your brain. Because you’re not just saying “it will get better” you actually feel hopeful that it will be.

3. DO something positive. Simply sitting around trying to think positive isn’t really helpful. Doing something positive can help you feel more positive, which helps you think more positive. This is especially helpful when you don’t feel hopeful or particularly grateful.

Doing, gives you something to actually work with. You start to see that while you don’t feel ok, at least you are trying. It doesn’t have to be life changing or heroic. Just doing something small, like watching your favorite movie or taking your dog out for a walk can help stir up some positive feelings.

For me, working with “feelings” and not just thoughts is more helpful because it helps me enter a state of “being.” This helps me become a grateful person or become a hopeful, positive person.

So while I might not think I’m pretty, or ok, or have any positive thought, I at least don’t have any deeply set negative feelings because my “being” is in a state of positivity. When that happens, it’s easier to get the mind to believe the positive thoughts that I feed it.

Not even in fairy tales

You don't really want a fairy tale. If you do, you've never really read one. Because if you have read a fairy tale, you'd remember that there were dragons as well as princes; magic was used for both evil and good, and that happily ever after never came before dark and stormy nights.

Life isn't easy. Not even in fairy tales.

But life is a lot like a fairy tale. It takes courage to stand up to the evil witches and dragrons in our lives. It's takes heart to pursue your prince or believe that he does in fact love you, once he shows up. And like all fairy tales, it takes a kind of hope and patience in knowing that your dreams will come true.

August Arrives

August sneaks up on you like a kitten in the grass, eyeing a butterfly that has perched itself onto a fully blossomed flower whose leaves are beginning to show signs of age.

Like the butterfly, resting peaceful in the sun, you are suddenly shaken as a tiny innocent paw reaches out to touch you.

 August means no harm, but it appears out of nowhere forcing you to look back on the time you had and the time you have left.

You scan your summer to-do list, still hopeful. It's only August. September hasn't made it's way around yet.

 Like the butterfly, you swiftly move off to another corner of  the garden, locating another resting place to feel what is left of summer on your wings.

August doesn't let you fully rest. Your insides are fluttering with all you still wish to accomplish.

 I will leave my sun on you a little while longer, Autumn says. I will grant you a little more time.

 Like the sweet playful kitten, Autumn moves back to a quiet corner, watching you, reminding you that it is only a matter of time before there is no more time left.

Dress:Yesstyle//Belt:Yesstyle//Shoes:Thrift Store//Tights:Ardene

When my times feels most valuable

I wanted to make buttermilk pancakes this morning. Correction, I wanted to eat buttermilk pancakes. I wasn't bursting with enthusiasm to make them. Isn't that how it is sometimes? You want something, but you don't actually want to work for it.

For instance, I want a million dollars, but I'm kind of just hoping I'll go to the bank and there it'll be without my having to do anything. Or how I really want to spend a summer in a luxury apartment in France, but do I want to work my tail off to earn enough to go to France...nope. But life doesn't work like that. You have to do something to get something.

If I want a boat load of money, I have to be willing to do two boat loads of work to get it. Sometimes it's all worth it. You work hard and feel proud once you've achieved the end reward. Sometimes it's not worth it, but in those cases at least you can say you put in your best effort. At least you tried.

Most of what we do is trival. It doesn't mean all that much in the grand scheme of things. I mean, me making pancakes is not going to help the world much (not unless I'm sharing). Even the hours spent working is done to stuff something in between the slots of time I've been alotted. It helps me contribute, but I'm not doing anything incredible simply by working.

The only real time I feel the time and energy I'm giving is doubled (trippled), and I really feel it is valuable is when I'm spending time with God. To the outside viewer, I'm not doing much in those moments. I'm not rushing around; I'm not trying to please everyone in sight; I'm not conquring the world, but in those moments I am doing the very best thing I can do for the world. I'm opening my heart; I'm letting him in; I'm boosting my self worth and yet humbling myself. I'm filling myself with joy, releasing my fear and sorrow, I'm conquring my demons, and I am connecting with everything he has put on this planet. All this lets me do whatever it is I'm expected to do with renewed excitment. It gives me courage to face the things I couldn't otherwise. It keeps me hopeful, joyful, grateful.

God gives me more than the world will ever give me. No matter how hard I work, the reward will never match up. And there is no possible way I can ever give to the world all that God has already given it. So while I do my trival work on earth, I remind myself to work even harder for God. Not because it will change the world, or even send me to heaven (it might not) but as a way to say thanks for all the times I didn't do anything but was still blessed by him.

Picture Credit: http://enoqi.tumblr.com/

Wandering and wondering

I took a long walk down a busy street, letting faces pass without looking. I let the noises raid my inner and took in the scents of city life. Wandering and wondering how the world became this way; it's so mechanical. Even me, walking down these paved cemented lanes am robotically fixated on getting to my destination. I then remember I have no real destination. I'm simply walking. I'm walking because everyone else around me is walking and I make the assumption that they're going somewhere so I too pretend my life is important enough to need me to meet some destination. But what if they're like me-- going nowhere--just trying to look busy and failing to look around them at all the life that is waiting to be discovered among the mechanical mayham.