Thursday, July 26, 2012

When my times feels most valuable

I wanted to make buttermilk pancakes this morning. Correction, I wanted to eat buttermilk pancakes. I wasn't bursting with enthusiasm to make them. Isn't that how it is sometimes? You want something, but you don't actually want to work for it.

For instance, I want a million dollars, but I'm kind of just hoping I'll go to the bank and there it'll be without my having to do anything. Or how I really want to spend a summer in a luxury apartment in France, but do I want to work my tail off to earn enough to go to France...nope. But life doesn't work like that. You have to do something to get something.

If I want a boat load of money, I have to be willing to do two boat loads of work to get it. Sometimes it's all worth it. You work hard and feel proud once you've achieved the end reward. Sometimes it's not worth it, but in those cases at least you can say you put in your best effort. At least you tried.

Most of what we do is trival. It doesn't mean all that much in the grand scheme of things. I mean, me making pancakes is not going to help the world much (not unless I'm sharing). Even the hours spent working is done to stuff something in between the slots of time I've been alotted. It helps me contribute, but I'm not doing anything incredible simply by working.

The only real time I feel the time and energy I'm giving is doubled (trippled), and I really feel it is valuable is when I'm spending time with God. To the outside viewer, I'm not doing much in those moments. I'm not rushing around; I'm not trying to please everyone in sight; I'm not conquring the world, but in those moments I am doing the very best thing I can do for the world. I'm opening my heart; I'm letting him in; I'm boosting my self worth and yet humbling myself. I'm filling myself with joy, releasing my fear and sorrow, I'm conquring my demons, and I am connecting with everything he has put on this planet. All this lets me do whatever it is I'm expected to do with renewed excitment. It gives me courage to face the things I couldn't otherwise. It keeps me hopeful, joyful, grateful.

God gives me more than the world will ever give me. No matter how hard I work, the reward will never match up. And there is no possible way I can ever give to the world all that God has already given it. So while I do my trival work on earth, I remind myself to work even harder for God. Not because it will change the world, or even send me to heaven (it might not) but as a way to say thanks for all the times I didn't do anything but was still blessed by him.

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