The process of becoming perfect

“Call me when you have your shit together” I’ve never liked this phrase, because although it implies that you won’t settle, it also imposes a certain amount of pressure to be perfect on the person being told to “get their shit together.” When my friend said it recently, I wasn’t able to hide my dislike for the phrase and replied “do you know how hard it is to get your shit together?”

“Do you have any idea how much support it takes to get your shit together?”

“People don’t just magically wake up with their shit together. They have to go throw a very trying, difficult, challenging and sometimes insecure periods of their life in order to become the person they want to be.”

I look at humans at works of art in progress and let’s be honest most us appreciate the final product of great art. But no great art magically got like that. Someone put a lot of time and effort to create it, so as much praise as the final product should get an even greater amount of appreciation should go towards the actual process of its creation.

Like any goal, it takes work and hours of commitment to achieve that goal. If you’ve ever achieved any level of success you’ll know what I’m talking about. You have to go through an unglamorous period where you’re building yourself whether that be your self-esteem, your skill, your knowledge etc.

The problem with many people is they don’t always take time to appreciate the process.  They don’t get enthusiastic about becoming who they want to be; they simply want to be it.

They don’t decide to like themselves until they have reached that goal. When they look in the mirror and see someone worthy of their love then they like themselves and feel more confident in seeking love from someone else.

 This imposition of perfection on themselves seeps out where they unknowingly expect it from others. They don’t want to deal with the “seed” of a person they want the blossomed flower—pretty and perfect. 

The frightening part about this is you are not given permission to fail and go through the “unpretty” stages of life freely. You’re just supposed to somehow “get your shit together. But unless you are able to go through the process of creating who you want to become with as much freedom to fail as you would have to succeed, it’s very difficult to successfully do it.

Humans are always under construction; we are never “finished products.” We become and desire different things in different stages in our lives. In other words, we will never truly have our shit together. All we can do is try and if you are diligently trying then what more should you ask of yourself or even anyone else.

What I think the world needs is less demand on being super beings and more acceptance of being who we feel makes us happy.

I asked my friend, “Wouldn’t you want someone who was willing to be with you in all stages of your life so long as you were trying.  Whether you’re a master in your field, up and coming or are picking yourself up after a heartbreaking fall, wouldn’t you like someone that is willing to be both encouraging and sympathetic.”

We should be patience and enthusiastic about our life and with others. We should see that the seed of a rose and the last decaying petal is still a rose—not demand that it quickly grow into its beauty and then remain like that forever. 

Are some people born with all the luck?

There are some people who appear to be extremely lucky. They are born into a financially stable family; they have two loving and supportive parents; they live in a location where they have access to ample resources; and the have no major health issues. If life is a race then these types of people have a head start as opposed to  someone who struggles financially; was born or raised by people who don't treat them well, have little access to resources and opportunities, and are battling a difficult or threatening disease. These people seem as if they are doomed to come in last because they have a very poor start.
 
However, if you have ever watched a race, you know that those in the lead don't always finish first. Life is a challenge for all. Whether you are rich and famous or poor and forgotten, it rains in all our lives.

What some people have is an early luck, where they have a number of things in their favor. It seems as if because they have such a great head start the course of their life should run easy, while others must work twice as hard to catch up. But that does not mean those with a head start have it easy, and it doesn't mean their luck won't run out.

Those who endured difficult and traumatic experiences early in their life, often have a resilience and endurance that makes them continue to run a race they know they might loose. This push and willingness to succeed can take them from the back of the race to the front line.

This is not to say that those with a lucky head start don't try, but that desperate instinctive need to survive may be tamed down.

In addition, life has a way leveling the playing field. The person who was born wealthy can make poor financial decisions when they get older; the one that has always been loved can fall in love with someone who hurts them deeply; the healthy one may become tragically injured. It is not uncommon for someone to trip and fall, pulling them back or completely out of the race.

There is another thing which is pivotal to success...emotional stability. Despite having it all some, people can't get happy. They go through bouts of depression. They may feel anxious all the time. Regardless of their lucky head start they fall behind emotionally, always feeling stuck and never truly experiencing joy.

On the other hand, there are some who have very little but have great emotional stability. They are mentally and emotionally at peace.

The unfortunate part of life is no one is born knowing where they will stand at the start mark. If we could, I'm sure we would all want to be the person who had everything working for them. But we are all born with the ability to make something out of our lives. And it is not really a matter of who finishes first in the race of life, but who finishes content. If in each stage of your life (good or bad) you are grateful and feel a sense of contentment then you will always run a good race and will always have a special kind of luck.  
 

My Sweet April

If March is a lion then April really is a lamb. It is more gentle towards me; more understanding, innocent and calm. I can handle April and it's challenges. I feel content. I don't know why I never achieve this level satisfaction with March, but I suppose everyone has their "winter."

The winds are brisk this April. There are still patches of snow and ice, yet I feel no disain for the slow coming of spring.

I look at April fondly, like that friend that is gentle and calming. The one you can spill your heart to without feeling judged. The one that smiles sadly at you knowing what a long a journey you've had and how much further you have to go.

 It says rest here, catch your breath. I won't over disturb you. March is demanding. March has expectations. March forcefully wants me to succeed. April wants me to try but not exhaust myself. April is courteous. It listens; tell me your woes; speak to me of your adventures.

 If you ever meet someone like the month of April, someone who is gentle and warm, someone who is patient and uplifting thank them--for they are like spring giving you a kind of renewal by implanting confidence and hope into your garden of life after a long winter. 

Happy Easter

There is a lot I could say, but I think I'll keep it short. Thank you Jesus. 

Dress: eBay
Cardigan: Thrift

Alloy.com haul and review

Buying shoes online is always nerve racking for me, but when they come at such an affordable price it's hard to not take the risk. I recently discovered Alloy.com, a retail website that sells both women's and men's apparel. The clothes don't really do it for me, but the shoes are cute. When on sale, you can find some nice items for very reasonable prices. I took the plunge and bought 2 pairs of shoes: some lace black flats and some black platform heels. I figured since it was my first time purchasing from there I would not do a crazy shopping spree.

The Good:

Alloy.com has well priced items. Both my shoes came up to 21.23 before shipping. I'd be thrilled to get one shoe for that on sale!  Even before sale prices, Alloy.com's items are reasonable. They also do frequent promos allowing you to get even more off.

Shipping did not take long. In Canada, everything takes forever to arrive. 10 days for an item to ship is considered fast. Alloy did not give me a tracking number, but the estimated date was correct.

The items are nice. While they are not the best quality, they are fine for the price. They are comfortable and they look cute with outfits. The heels have a rubber grip which makes it easier to walk in and the flats are nicely padded.

The bad:

The biggest complaint I have is the shipping prices for international countries. If you are in the States shipping is not outrageous and they often have promos for free shipping. Sadly, these promos do not apply to locations outside the U.S.A and the price of shipping is steep. For my two items shipping was 21.95. That's more than what I paid for my merchandise! I would highly suggest doing a bulk or group buy in order to make the shipping worth it.

Overall: For their ease of shopping and great prices I will definitely shop there again and would recommend it to others. In the future, I'll purchase a greater quantity of items so my shipping fees balance out with the item fees.

Unwelcomed sounds

Classical music plays in the background, Johann Strauss II, to be precise. The melody is a nice distraction from the random hums, rings, and gentle bangs heard throughout the house. Normally I don't mind. The sounds are welcomed, comforting almost. But today the slightest sound that I myself didn't make or invite irritates me. The noises grate at my nerves and I wonder why is there so much noise? Why can I hear the sounds of living so clearly? I turn up the volume to the stereo and try to drown out the symphony of life playing so loudly around me.

Tuesday Treasures

 I am looking forward to Easter, spending time with my family and springtime. What are you excited about this weekend?

Je suis impatient de Pâques, de passer du temps avec ma famille et au printemps. Que faites-vous heureux de ce week-end?



Silver Book Locket Necklace- Enchanted Love Garden - By TheEnchantedLocket

Betsey Johnson Women's Alexsaa Platform Pump

Ivory Cotton Crepe Dress