Friday, February 3, 2012

2 weeks to loose a friend?

A friend of mine once said something that I didn't believe at first: It only takes two weeks to loose a friend. 

He meant, if you don't make an effort to contact someone for a full two weeks, you're friendship has changed and chances are they aren't your friend anymore.

I disagreed because I thought of how there are some people that I don't see or talk to for over two weeks but they mean a lot to me.

But one day I noticed something...all the people I didn't talk to for more than two weeks were aquantainces not friends. I contact my friends at least once a week. I have a guy friend who lives very far (another country) but we text, everyday. If more than two days goes by without doing so it feels as if something is off with both of us.

I also noticed that what the guy meant was not that your friends vanish, but that the friendship is tested. If you think about it, 14 days is a long time to go without contacting someone you consider a  close friend. An aquataince may be excused, but not a friend. After 2 weeks it becomes harder to pick up the phone and contact the person. You wonder why they haven't made the effort; you wonder why you haven't. Often one party is avidly trying to stay in touch and the other side is just casually ignoring you (or maybe not so casually). 2 weeks turns into a month and as the days move on you realize, you aren't friends anymore and maybe you never were.

I don't like talking on the phone but I'll text my friends, email them, make a date to see them. If I don't, something is wrong.

Two weeks to loose a friend seems silly, but if you really think about it, unless you had some good reason, would you really want to go more than a few days without talking to someone you care about? Wouldn't you like to know how they are and update them on your own life?

I think in this day, with so many forms of communication, it seems odd that you wouldn't give a quick hello to someone...unless you didn't want to.

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